Transforming

“Transformation is a process that frees the mind and heals the soul. In order to achieve a state of transformation, one must identify what is, release it and move toward what can be.”

A new opportunity is upon us with the onset of a new year. Focus on moving toward healing and success by seeking "Transformation of Self". Imagine that our mind and body are like a vessel. The events of the past year have filled our vessel with all type of experiences, emotions and thoughts, which can be either negative or positive. Once the vesssel is filled, the vessel cannot take on anymore. Our vessel becomes overloaded and unable to move in any direction. We tend to hold on to the cargo through false perceptions, fears, resentments or rooted beliefs. To enter into a state of transformation, the vessel needs to be unloaded of the old cargo to allow new cargo to be taken aboard. Let go of the old so that you have the space to allow new experiences, emotions and thoughts to be accepted. Anything is possible.

#1 in Live365 Relationships Talk Radio Stations

Want to share with all some good news I just got today. I had done a few interviews on the Michele Hughes Show on the National Internet Live365 Talk Radio Station. One of the shows just became #1 in their ratings. 

Here is the link if you are interested - http://www.live365.com/athena/index.live Copy and paste it into your browser. 

I am very proud that the show has touched so many people. Evidently my new theories on Core Beliefs have impacted a lot of listeners. Thanks to all who follow me through the development of my new Life Coaching Practice.

The Effects of Programming on Survivors

Programming has a large effect on how your body responds to life events and how flashbacks are triggered through what your mind is fed internally or externally.

"The body follows the mind...be it good...be it bad or be it disowned"


How a Survivor's Body Reacts 

How your body reacts depends on what your mind is fed. If your mind is fed negative information or focuses on bad things that happen or hurtful emotions then the body follows suit and it becomes sick. 

On the other hand if the mind is fed good material and focuses on growth and moving forward then the body reacts in a healthy way and performs at peak levels. 

If the mind completely disowns the body due to blame then the body begins to attract disease and is less able to fight it. 

So how your life goes depends solely on what your mind is being fed or what you accept into it and what type of thoughts you allow to run in your head. 

What to Do? 

Be aware of what you are allowing your mind to focus on. If you mind thinks on negative material you will focus on negative and not see positive. If you do not like your thoughts and want to think healthier then make a shift in your thoughts. Catch your thoughts and think in a more positive way. 

Be Positive

The more you work on shifting your thoughts to good or positive thinking the more fulfilled and successful you will be in your life

           Coach Bill

5 Tips for Achieving Gratitude

In our fast pace world many of us do not stop and take stock in what they are grateful for in their lives. Gratefulness has become a “hidden factor” in modern society. Focus is generally on what we do not have rather than what we are blessed with. 

Gratitude appears to be a strong determinant of people's well-being.

Numerous studies suggest that grateful people are more likely to have higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and depression. Participants who engaged in gratitude studies showed increases in their experiences of positive emotion immediately after the exercise. An interesting fact about gratitude is it is not an act but a specific way to feel. As I have always said “feeling is healing”.

The definition of gratitude is having thankfulness for what you have in the moment. Another definition for gratitude that I like is appreciation. Appreciation is the recognition of the quality, value, significance, or goodness of people, opportunities and things in your life.

Here is a quote which speaks to the depth of this subject;

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart” ~Jean Baptiste Massieu

So what will I gain from searching my heart for what I am grateful for?

5 Tips on Being in Gratitude

To enhance your health, spirit and life balance, start today by getting in touch with your gratitude.

1. Gets you out of your logical / rational mind and into your                 emotional mind. Feeling gratitude has to come out of inner               feeling.

2. It turns what we have into enough and it reflects good 
    personal and moral value.

3. Shift your attitude from denial into acceptance, chaos to 
    order, confusion to clarity. It helps to life as a gift.

4. Appreciation for goodness in life and paves the path for 
    purity and spirituality.

5. Improves emotional well-being and physical health, and 
    it can strengthen relationships. The act of gratitude energizes, inspires and transforms.

Assess your gratitude and begin a healthier life today.

                                                     

Please visit my website and click here to get a free eBook.

4 Tips on Changing Reality

Coaching questions bring out the most brilliant revelations from the clients I have the pleasure to work with. Many are not even aware when his or her brilliance pops out. 

Example

I was having a discussion with a strong and intelligent woman on the issue of “expectations” and she said “I am the only one who lives in my perceived reality and there are going to be certain things and/or times when what I think should or want to happen in my reality maybe not even feasible for the rest of the world.” 

I found this statement to be so profound. Perception is the gateway of our mind and your minds tool for collecting life data. Perception filters everything from external life to internal life. 

4 Tips on Changing your perceptual filters

1. Change your mindset

2. Refuse negative thoughts

3. Create a new belief everyday

4 Live in the moment

Takeaway

So what became abundantly clear is that I guess each one of us live in a different reality. Become right with your reality or change your perceptual filters.

                                  

Please visit my website and click here to get a free eBook

Power of Positive Beliefs

How you live, survive or thrive is totally based on the content of our core beliefs. 

Core beliefs are result of life data gathered and stored by subconscious mind. This data is termed "mind code" that your subconscious mind collects along your journey through life. 

How does core beliefs form?

Core beliefs are formed from stored code or mind code. Core beliefs are self-messages you form about yourself from each life situation you go through. Once the are formed and stored in your subconscious mind they govern what you do, how you feel, and what you think. 

Core beliefs strongly embedded themselves silently in your subconscious without your conscious awareness. Beliefs actively remain undetected in the dark shadows of your subconscious mind. When triggered by a life situation a belief will pop up into your conscious mind and influence what you do, how you fell and how you react. 

If your life situations which are negative or bad create negative core beliefs. Negative beliefs can be a barrier to your fulfillment, satisfaction or happiness. Negative beliefs also determine how you function in your relationships and career. 

As long as these core beliefs remain invisible, you will continue to repeat old destructive patterns of thought, mood and behavior that hold will hold you down and block your future success.

Take Away

Your core beliefs do not have remain invisible to you. You can change them to positive.  Click here to view a way to uncover your core beliefs. 
          Coach Bill

Please visit my website and click here to accept a free eBook.

Trauma Thrill: The Relapse Connection

I discovered a relapse connection in many of my trauma life coaching clients and re-experiencing to many is a “trauma thrill”. A trauma thrill is the act of reconnecting to an old trauma, memory, relationship or lifestyle through a new traumatic experience. The result re-connecting to old behaviors and negative mindsets seem to re-attach themselves to the survivors even after years of successful growth and recovery.

To read more about this trauma thrill connection, click here.

Discovering this connection helped me to coach my clients even better and be more mindful of issues that keep survivors stuck in old destructive life styles.

          Coach Bill

Mistakes in Our Life

Part of authentic life is that in everything we do in our personal life or jobs, we sometimes will make "mistakes". Many have heard from me that no one is perfect and if you are perfect then you do not need to get out of bed because you have done everything in life. I believe that " If you do not make a mistake you cannot learn and move forward." So here is a quote on the subject of mistakes.....
"Don't let the past mistakes or overwhelming life events define you or determine your future. We all make mistakes, but we cannot allow them to define who we are."

3 Tips on Re-Authoring Self

Do you feel emotional hurt, pain or suffering from experiencing significant or life-threatening situations? Have these experiences changed you as a person and you haven't felt the same since? You also knew you had lost your identity as a result?

Many people experience negative, hurtful or painful situations which leave them emotionally, mentally and physically wounded.
A person is never the same as they were before a painful or hurtful event. After the experience, they really think that the situation defined them. The fact is that nothing anyone went through has to define them.


If you answered yes, you are personally exhausted, seriously want to stop the suffering and want to become productive and positive then read on. 


Know that change is possible But you must be open to being raw. Raw in this case is being ready, accountable & willing to make the change.

I believe strongly that everyone can be in charge of their own authority, power, their own life story, identity and life direction. Understand that the past is gone. Make a positive future by re-authoring yourself. 

Become your own master of defines you as a person

Re-author Who You Are

If you don't like how you think, how you feel and how you act then your future can be changed by creating a new version or re-authoring yourself. 

You can start today by taking back your personal authority, energy, and power. 

3 Tips on How to Re-author Yourself

If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author of your own story. Every day you have the opportunity to write a new page of the story of you.

Here are tips on how to re-author yourself into a new person. So let's get you started.

1. Write down all the negative things you don't like                                about yourself or your identity as a result of situations you                experienced.

2. Next, to each negative statement write down in detail how you         would change each statement to a positive statement which               would craft a new vision of yourself.

3. Once you have a new vision of yourself, practice the new plan         every day until you master you feel comfortable in that new             vision. Then keep practicing the new you become automatic.

       Please visit my website and click here for free eBook.


           Coach Bill

New Thoughts on Loss

We all experience many different types of loss. Sometimes we are afraid to feel the feeling we experienced associated with those losses. As a result, we do not allow ourselves to grieve. Grief unexpressed negatively impacts our lives, relationship with self and health, whether those; losses were a minor loss or major. Here is a statement to think about.

"Someday you're going to look back on this moment of your life that should have been such a fulfilling time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning, your soul was wounded and your heart was broken. So it is very important to grieve each loss you experience and heal your soul. The act of grieving

began your healing and life was changing..."

Please visit my website and click here for free eBook.

          Coach Bill

Life Change

You cannot change your present life by re-inventing your history, rather your life changes by creating a future. You cannot be successful if you are always analyzing the memory of your past. I have said for years about one’s personal history, “It happened. It is not happening now”. Stop cancelling out your present by living in the past. Let go of regrets and bottled up anger about events that have happened. Allow closure to occur in your life.

Now is the time to take a positive step forward by changing your mindset. Envision your future in your mind. If you can see mentally where you are going then it is possible to get there. So take your focus off of past disappointing and painful life events you cannot change, regain your personal authority, learn new skills, make an action plan and move forward in your life. Your power is embedded within you. Practice mindfulness.

GET READY to ROCK YOUR MIND!!!!!

I have been invited again to be the Guest on Renew Your Life Radio Show and it is happening this Saturday the 14th @ 6:00 pm, day before my birthday. I will be the guest and not a co-host this week. Dr. Lisa Palmer, I and all her loyal listeners are going to have an intimate discussion on the topic of Personal Philosophy: How It Affects Our Life Story .
Personal Philosophy plays an integral part in how humans function in life. It is the foundation of our identity. Personal Philosophy drives our reactions and is the essence behind our life stories. Please schedule your time to listen and please call in with any question. I am very excited, and energized about the topic. Issues discussed will include effects of Core Beliefs, Values, Programming, and Expectations and how this are an outgrowth of our Personal Philosophy. I think it should be a lively, interesting and educational discussion between just Dr. Palmer and me.
Mark your calendar and join us on the radio. So tune in and listen to the show in South Florida on WWNN 1470am or on http://www.blogtalkradio.com copy in the search box - renew your life with Dr. Lisa Palmer – then click search.

Power of Self: Take Back Ownership of Yourself

Just wrote a new article on HubPages.com titled "How to Take Control of Your Life". It is my second article on Hub. I have gotten a lot of responses from the first article and I am very pleased.

This new article looks at the issue of Self-Ownership. There are many events, situations, and issues in life that cause us to let go of our ownership of many things including ourselves. The experiencing of an overwhelming life event, particularly a hurtful, negative, abusive or traumatic event. Each type of these events is a loss. 

A loss can occur mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These overwhelming life events can cause feelings of emptiness. Emptiness may be felt in your body, emotions, esteem, specific organs, mind, spirit, or esteem. 

The loss and emptiness are translated internally core beliefs of "I am worthless", "I am not like other people (less than)", "I am not good enough" or "I did wrong". This translation alters the perception of self, therefore, changes the relationship with self. The negative altered perception becomes "my inability to control or perform adequately" has caused the problem (a loss) in life, everything went wrong due to me, and it is "my fault" or “I hate me.” At that point, the disowning to self occurs.

Takeaway

To become healthier your first action should be to take back full ownership of whatever was disowned. The disowning could be your body, emotions, esteem, specific organs, mind, spirit, or esteem. Today is a good day to take back ownership of yourself by taking action. 

Read this article How to Take Ownership of You and fill out the personal ownership document at the bottom. Once completed you will feel the personal authority of ownership.

Please visit my website and click here for free eBook.

         Coach Bill

4 Tips on Developing a Positive Belief System

I have written many times about core beliefs and their importance in your lives. Personal strength and integrity are an outgrowth of your core beliefs and the worth you place on each belief. 

But what supports your worth you have for yourself? Well, it is your core beliefs. Your belief system is the foundation of your identity. Core beliefs are the base for your personal philosophy which is what generates your identity.

Core beliefs support and influence how you think, feel, act and react. Accumulated beliefs are an accepted beliefs you develop from your experiences throughout life or have been taught to you by others you have an emotional attachment with. If told “you are not worthy” then you link a high core value to that belief then you will believe “I have no worth anything”. You are not aware of the formation or manifestation of your core beliefs because it happens quietly in your subconscious. First awareness of core beliefs is when you hear it in your head through your "self-talk". If your self-talk is positive then you can believe that your core beliefs are positive and your thinking will be positive thinking. But if your self-talk is negative, critical and judgmental then you can believe that your core beliefs are negative. 

4 Tips on being a Healthier Person

To become a healthier person: 

1. You need to look deep inside yourself, recognize your core beliefs that you carry.

2. Write down all the beliefs you have about yourself, good or bad, positive or negative. 

3. Determine which core beliefs are true and beneficial. 

4. Denounce the false ones and get rid of those negative beliefs by replacing them with new positive core beliefs about yourself. 

Take Away

Let go of harmful beliefs which do not serve you or the beliefs that are barriers to your intentions for fulfillment, happiness, and success. 

Remember, you are worthy of accomplishing anything you desire, but you have to believe. You are worthy and good enough.
         Coach Bill

Please visit my website and click here for a free eBook.

Time to Move Forward: Life Coaching Approach

Enough is enough. Sometimes we hold on to our stories (tales of sorrow) because of anxiety, comfort, depression, fear, hate, injustice, no closure or revenge. We are to comfortable in performing to other people expectations, disbeliefs, fears, wants or wishes and that keeps us from focusing on ourselves.
I will share the definition of a story from a coaching point of view. A story is an experience from our past that we carry forward with an unclosed emotion that holds us back. Meaning it does not serve us. A story is a past life event, shared as fact, full of negative emotion we have not overcome or made closure with. We use stories to tell others how much pain we are in and use them as excuses not to move forward in our life
So where do I go from here? Coaching is a way to go. A life coach can help you reduce the effects of your stories by teaching you a life skill that will help you close the negative emotions you have carried. How? Well to let go of a story full of negative emotion: face it, recognize the feeling that you ignored, learn and do a RRT on your story, then move forward with a new mindset toward life.

My Time at WiiT is Over

I would like to take a sincere moment to inform all my friends, colleagues, Facebook fans and faithful followers that as of today I am no longer at The Women’s Institute for Incorporation Therapy, lovingly known as WiiT, nor am I affiliated with Hollywood Pavilion.
I founded my dream and passion, WiiT, in 1995 to help survivors suffering from the experiences of abuse and trauma. I dedicated my heart, self, and soul to fight for that dream. WiiT has helped thousands of women to reach heights they never thought possible and to heal. I was lucky to see it take form and reach women all over the country and the world. To all of you I have worked with over the years at WiiT, I say I am proud of you. I will not be there anymore, but my theories and principles remain alive.
So as the sun sets in the west, I says good bye to WiiT but not to my dream. I will continue to grow, write, teach and help survivors through my Life Coaching Practice. I will continue to keep in contact through my website www.DrBillTollefson.com, my blog http://williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/ , my newsletters, and my Facebook posts. Thank you for all your support and loyalty throughout all the years.

Radio Show with Dr Palmer and Dr Ross

Hope all my followers got a chance to listen to the May 15th "Renew Your Life with Dr. Lisa Palmer". on BLOGTALKRADIO.COM It was another great experience for me to talk on the issues and principles which I believe in so much. I was asked a lot interesting and direct questions. I feel and have gotten feedback already that a lot was learned by listeners. Thanks all for the wonderful feedback.
If you have not heard the show, and trauma reaction, PTSD or healing is of interest, then take a few minutes out of you day and take a listen to the show on BLOGTALKRADIO.

Dr Bill Tollefson on BlogTalk Radio Show

Hey everyone! I am speaking on blogtalk radio again on Saturday May 15, 2010. If you want to listen either on the 15th or later click on The Renew Your Life radio show with Dr. Lisa Palmer airs 6p Saturdays on WWNN 1470 and focuses on helping individuals to regain and maintain balance in their lives and relationships. We invite you to CALL THE SHOW LIVE at 1-888-565-1470. You can also LISTEN LIVE on INTERNET via BLOGTALKRADIO.COM Search "Renew Your Life with Dr. Lisa Palmer". Hope you all get a chance to listen. I will be addressing "Trauma Reaction -Triggers, Expectations and Traumatic memory"

Dr Bill on Radio Show

Hey Everyone! Here is the direct way to the the Blogtalk Radio Show I was on last night, Renew Your Life Radio Show with Dr Lisa Palmer. What a fun time. hope you learn from the hour long show.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/renewyourlife.rss/a>

Please Enjoy

Traumatic Memory and Flashbacks.

Hey Bloggers 

As my followers of my website and newsletter know I was on "The Renew Your Life Radio Show" with Hosts Dr. Lisa Palmer and Jeffery Cotton last night. The show can be listened to by going to http://www.therenewcenter.com/dr_palmer_radio.htm and click play on the first show at the top of the radio show box.
The reason I am blogging today was to share a thought I had while preparing for the radio show, I reviewed the Diagnostic Criteria for PTSD. The first section was defining exposure and the second section was the start of symptoms. The section is titled "The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced. The first sub-section under that is the number one symptom - Recollections which includes traumatic memories, flashbacks, images, thoughts and perceptions. So I thought for awhile and realized in reference to human memory "without remembrance, there would be no reaction, and therefore no PTSD Symptoms". So if you cannot make closure with your traumatic memories and flashbacks, then you are stuck in the past. Personally, Thank God for Rapid Reduction Technique (RRT).

                                

Closure from Past Emotional Wounds

As everyone knows who has followed me knows I am a big supporter of making closure of past emotional wounds rather than resolution. If you are not able to make closure with your past emotional hurts or painful events then those deep hurts stay with you. If you have not let go of them or have not gotten over them, they will revisit you constantly even without your consent. These emotional hurts leave a negative emotional charge or painful scar on your core and the result is you spending too much time regretting your past. 

If you have any regrets of your past then you are not living in the moment and your life passes by, never to be recovered.

Also these emotional wounds that have not been dealt with cause us to not be able to function later as adults either in our relationship with ourselves or with other people in our lives. 

In order to move forward in our life and grow, we need to make closure with past emotional wounds.

Remember this life skill quote -

“The inability to make closure with one world stops one from opening another.”

Learn more about Rapid Reduction Technique - RRT and click here to learn how to make closure with your past wounds.

                                              

Effects Of Traumatic Life Events - The DVD

Hi it is Dr Bill. Hope you all are having a wonderful new year. 2010 is going to be a year of growth and new life, skills to be learned. One thing that I did new was to produce another DVD. I wanted to update more to my book - Separated from the Light – but rewriting is a hard and long process. I feel I have changed since I wrote the book in 1997. I thought and thought. While going through all the clips from my filming in Utah in 2007, I found the same topics and more. So I took all those principles that matched the principles in the book and I have created a video version of the book. The DVD came out this month. The title of the new DVD is - Effects of Traumatic Life Events: Empowering Your Life through Knowledge. This new video updates my popular topics from my book such as Movement of Self, Abuser Values, Loyalty, Dissociative Continuum, Unfolding Process, and more. There are also new topics that I had not presented outside of WiiT to this point, like Dancing with Symptoms, Trauma Robs, PTSD, Self Takes Flight and Movement into Recovery. This DVD is great place to start for someone who needs new understanding of what trauma does to a human, and to assist one in beginning their movement out of darkness, and into the light of healing. Over one hour of video.
So go to my website www.DrBillTollefson.com and check it out at my website.