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Friday, December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas and Holiday Message from Dr. Bill

Merry Christmas 2017 to one and all!!!!

I feel blessed to be alive and the ability to make positive changes in my life. This year has been a year of new beginnings and growth. I turned 67 years old and feel like I did at 19. My family and I survived Hurricane Irma this year. Blessed, blessed and more blessing.

I want to express my gratitude from my heart this Christmas morning for all my Blog Followers, friends and family. Thank you for all the followings and the compassion all of you have shown by believing in my and finding my words as value.

What a fabulous year it has been. Many positive changes along with some losses. I really count my blessings and all of you are included in my blessings and gratitudes.

Please take a minute today to celebrate the moment and count your blessings. Being alive to celebrate this year, 2017.

Also wishing everyone a Happy New Year.

                         Merry Christmas 2017 to one and all!!!!

                                       Coach Bill

Sunday, December 13, 2015

3 Tips on Eliminating Perfectionism

We are just mortal humans striving to be in the "perfect zone" and expecting it every day of our lives. Wanting to achieve that legendary achievement level – perfection.

Many attempts every day to achieve the perfect look, the perfect relationship, the perfect home, the perfect connection, the perfect career, the perfect day and lastly the perfect partner. 

Is any of this possible??

I have to admit I too reached and wrestled with that elusive idea perfection in my mind but was never possible in practice. All the media hype I hear every day tell me what my expectations should be and sets me up for extremely unreachable goals. All of this hype sets you and me up for disappointment. Why?  Perfection is not achievable in the moment. Do not set yourself up for failure, correctly is really folklore.

If you become over concerned or obsessive about the unattainable goal of perfectionism, it can form a habit or become a full-blown addiction. 

Perfection Causes Disappointment

Unfortunately, due to all the variables, this concept of perfection is not either possible nor achievable. Even the smallest inability to reach an unrealistic expectation of perfection causes you to begin a habit of "over-expecting". Over-expecting cause to get hurt cause it does not work out as you dreamed so you fall into a deep disappointment that can shatter your confidence, esteem and worth with one incident. 

What happens with attempting to achieve an unreachable concept of perfection is you enter into a state of self-judgment. You analyze your efforts, methods and Indeed yourself. From that you come up with a long mental list of everything you said, felt or did wrong, thinking and labeling yourself a failure toward perfection. This judgmental mindset and unproductive endeavor honestly defeats the self-confidence and disconnects you from what is relevant to yourself, loved ones and your life.

3 Tips on Eliminating Perfectionism

Instead of keeping score of your failures, just do your best: 

1. Shift your Mindset 

Stop thinking about doing, feeling and saying everything perfectly. Adopt a new mindset of doing your "best" in every aspect of your life. Doing your best reduces performance anxiety, stress, and worry.

2. Be Grateful

Write out a list of all you have to be grateful for? Life is much more fulfilling when you focus on the good things in your life than the things you are not good enough.

3. Have Compassion for Yourself.

Another way to reduce perfectionism tendency is to become mindful and understanding of yourself and your journey through life. Gain awareness of what you have gone through by understanding all your trials, tribulations and accomplishments. If you need to be more personally organized make a list of all the situations you have triumphed in your life. 

If you want to be more spontaneous and don't like lists, think of a situation you overcame by doing your best each morning upon first rising and repeating it to yourself all through the day with a smile.

After Thoughts

Stop reaching for what you can't have. No one is perfect or can do everything perfectly correct. Do your best on everything you do with feeling. Truly this positive mindset is not settling. 

If you let go of false expectations of perfectionism and focus on the blessings of being alive, you will discover that you have so much more to be grateful for. Isn't that a reason for living?

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Coach Bill