Follow by Email

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Life Coaching is Becoming More Popular


Life coaching is gaining greater recognition as a viable helping profession. More and more people are viewing Life Coaching as an alternative method to enhance skills, productivity, and resolve present life issues. Life Coaches assist clients in acquiring the confidence to get unstuck. Coaches help clients to change careers, repair relationships, become more productive or merely get themselves and life together. Business leaders, professional athletes, artists, and entertainers have known about coaches for a long time, and they have used coaches for decades to help them become more proficient, increase skills, attain positive outlook, and achieve more success.

Life Coaching Objective

The objective of life coaching is to assist anyone in formulating what his or her life intentions are moving forward in their life, to uncover deep core beliefs which might be barriers to his or her positive movement, enhance happiness, and to move forward successfully. Life coaching assumes that the person lacks the skill to move out of one comfort zone which has become uncomfortable and get more out of life. Life coaching is a teaching experience, just like a sports coach who trains, teaches and directs athletics or a team to win games and work toward having greater confidence and being number one among their peers.

New article

 I would like to share with readers of my blog an article just came out on Life Coaching this week in Times of the Island Magazine. It is so exciting for this type of acknowledgment from the field of Life Coaching. I was so honored to be included in the article titled – Life Coaches Encourage, Assist: Two Southwest Florida Practitioners Have Far-reaching Impact written by Ann O’Phelan. 

It was such an honor to be included in this article with my teacher and mentor David Essel who taught me to convert from a therapist to a Life Coach.

Many thanks to the photographer Neila Damico who deserves photo credit for my photos for the article.

Below is the link for the article in Times of the Island Magazine.

https://toti.timesoftheislands.com/dm/2018/jul-aug#page/52 

For more information on the difference between therapy and life coaching, click here to get the link.

https://williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/2013/06/life-coaching-and-therapy-difference.html


         Coach Bill

Friday, June 8, 2018

Intuitive Breathing Method: Tips For Taming An Overactive Mind


Breathing has been proven to help control the mind by stimulating the calming response and rewiring the brain. Practicing deep breathing can restructure the amygdala the brain’s center associated with emotions such as anxiety and fearful thoughts. So using breath work will enhance your mind and body and adding an intuitive component will significantly improve the effects even more. 

Incorporating intuitiveness into your life can be easier and more fulfilling than you think.

Using your intuition or gut instinct can enhance your life but also be a breath of fresh air. 

Understanding Intuition

Intuition is a hunch, gut instinct, and the ability to listen to your internal messages without conscious reasoning or proof. 

If you listen to your gut instincts, your knowledge and mindfulness will increase. Adding intuitiveness into your life is more natural and more beneficial than you believe.

16 Benefits of Incorporating Intuitive Breathing

Balances digestive system
Emotional stability improves 
Calms an overactive mind
Creativity enhances
Decreases anxiety 
Decreases response to pain
Enhances focus
Empowerment
Frees mind chatter
Happiness increases
Lowers blood pressure
Increases your intuitiveness
Increases mindfulness
Increases your oxygen level
Improves clarity of thought 
Enhances confidence 
Improves sleep
Improved instincts
Promotes inner peace 
Positive mindset
Enhances ability to connect with the moment 
Reduces sensitivity 
Reduces stress
Mini-meditation experience


4 Steps for Intuitive Breathing

Intuitive Breathing method will assist you in reducing anxiety, decreases stress, help to achieve an increased degree of mental calmness, clarity, centers you in the moment, and improve your connectedness with your body, mind and immediate environment. 

These steps help you to reduce your anxiety, have a calmer mind, and feel more connected your body and mind follow these steps.

1. Inhale while counting to 4 in your head

2. Hold your breath for a count of 2

3. Exhale at a count of 4 in your head completely

4. Repeat at least a series of four (4) times to get the full effect.

You can use this method in any situation. You don't need a traditional meditation environment, to close your eyes, sit in a lotus position, or chant. 

You can perform this method while you are walking, standing, working, exercising, driving, at play, or during any daily routine. 

Practice Tips

There are advantages to doing intuitive breathing session more than once a day.

1. The more you consistently practice this breathing method the more intuitive it will be, and you’ll find yourself doing it automatically.

2.  The more you practice intuitive breathing in a set of four back to back, it will serve not only to calm mind and relax your body but will also develop into a mini-meditation session. 

3. Practicing intuitive breathing also helps to restructure the amygdala. The amygdala is the brain’s center associated with anxiety, fearful thoughts and stress. 

Do a mini-meditation session in 10 seconds by using intuitive breath method. Do a series of four breathing in a row. A series of 4 breathings connected will form a meditation session and enrich your body, energy, mind, and spirit just like an hour of traditional meditation would. Using intuitive breathing this way will also improve the neural connections in your brain giving your a calmer mind. Active intuitive breaths will decrease the size of your amygdala, making it less reactive as well as reducing its fear and stress sensitivity.

Final Thoughts

If you are open to cultivating your intuitiveness, and follow your gut instinct rather than diluted thoughts that result in false emotions, you will achieve greater confidence, self-compassion, and unlimited positive possibilities.

Visit my website for more intuitive ideas and click here to download free eBook for more information on this topic.

           Coach Bill

Friday, February 16, 2018

5 Tips for Living More Intuitively


Are you tired of living the way others think you should or caught up in a hectic lifestyle due to all the pressure associated? Do you live your life pleasing others or what "society" expects out of you? Has your life gotten so busy and complicated keeping up with everything? Weary of the stress and anxiety of constant expectations?

Won’t it be nice to have a more straightforward and calmer way of life?

Ways to Live “Intuitively”

Living intuitively is a different way of life. Intuitive living is living based merely on what you are sensing from your gut instincts without conscious reasoning, evidence, distorted or negative thoughts, or false emotions. It is living simpler, running on your gut instinct. Living with your intuitiveness avails you to connect with your true self and increase your ability to experience the moment rather than fixated on what went wrong in your past or predicting what might happen in the future. Merely understanding something because of an intuitive sense rather than seeking facts or proof that may be tainted by what you have been told, inaccurate stories or false experiences. Rely on your gut instinct.
The art of intuitive living is asking yourself “what is my sense of what is going on in myself and around me.”  

Living on your intuitiveness makes you more mindful, alert, comfortable, creative, enlightened and fulfilled. Intuitive living allows you the ability to understand and get in touch with your actual capabilities, talents, qualities and authentic characteristics. 



Adding intuitive living elements to your life is easier than you think. Here are five ways to live a more balanced, fulfilled, increased mindfulness, appreciate your environment, and calmer in mind and body. Revel in all you are and have at the moment.

5 Tips to Add Intuitive Elements to Your Life

1. Connect with your environment

Increase your time outdoors enjoying the sunshine and fresh air and taking in the beauty of nature can help you become calmer, happier and more fulfilled. Outdoors will help you to be more content and connected with yourself.

2. Engross yourself in life’s simple pleasures 

Life should be involved in comforts around you. When you conduct your daily tasks like showering, drinking coffee/tea or eating. When showering, connect with the sense of the warmth of the water on your skin, and the relaxing of your muscles. After pouring your coffee or tea first thing in the morning, hold the cup in both hands and focus the warmth of the cup, savor the aroma, and breathe deeply. While eating, focus and sense the colors, the texture of each bite and the taste. Concentrate on present enjoyments will help you to be in the present. Then begin your day.

3. Journal daily

Writing is powerful. Writing is an intuitive tool of expression. So writing your ideas, senses, thoughts, memories, your personal stories or what you are grateful for that day in a journal. Expressing through writing can be your way of recording your history.  Your writing material allows you to take a break, focus on the moment, record it and then not to have to keep all the information in your head. You have to focus in the moment to write.
Reading your journal later can empower your compassion for yourself. Journaling clears your mind because writing stores your knowledge and experiences as well as enhancing your creativity and sense of accomplishment. 

Your entries don’t have to be long or complicated. Jot down a thank you note, an experience, and a quote that inspired you or a positive event that happened.  

4. Listen to music

Music can be a comfortable and compelling driver. Music lifts your spirits and can play a significant role in intuitive living.  Make many different playlists of song you like. Songs that enhance your energy fills you with happiness or calms you down. So turn up the volume, sing out loud or dance to connect with your body.

5. Carve out time for yourself

The world has become so busy and complicated. If you are like everyone else technology has overtaken your time. You have less and less quiet time with yourself. You have immediate access to people, events and even disasters all across the globe at our fingertips. It can be a blessing, but also it can cause you to disconnect from yourself, family, friends, and immediate environment. Meaning you lose connection with the moment. The constant influx of information is eroding our personal and communication skills.

The solution to reducing stress and anxiety in these times is to set aside time every day where you unplug from all your devices including TV, smartphone, and indulge in a quiet period. Treat yourself to time with just being with yourself without distractions. It seems distractions are continually interrupting your time and you slip down on your list of priorities and tasks even with the best of intentions. 

Spend the first few minutes of your intuitive session through practicing intuitive breathing. Intuitive breathing will quiet your being as well as serve as a mini-meditation which will reduce your level of accumulated anxiety and stress and set you up for your intuitive session. Daily time spent with yourself will help you enhance your relationship with you and to bring you into a state of calmness and self-compassion.

Take Away 

Adding intuitive elements to your living experience allows you to find balance, tune in to your energy, gain a better sense of yourself and environment, comfort, calmness, and more uncomplicated existence. When you carve out time to focus inwardly on your gut, you open possibilities. Following the ways above, connecting with your gut instincts can lead to your ability to untangle hurdles, and reducing distractions as well as gaining an added degree of comfort, fulfillment, happiness, and more significant sense of health. 

Living intuitively takes practice. Understand the effort into your practice is absolutely worth the effort.
          Coach Bill

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Powers of Thought: 5 Tips for Intuitive Living


The benefits of living intuitively are pretty extensive. Intuitive living can help you to become more aware, heightens your gut sense, increases mindfulness, and tunes you into your mind, body, and gut all at once. 

The more you practice connecting with your gut instincts, the more productive and confident you will become.

 Living intuitively is based merely on becoming more mindful of what you are sensing from your gut instincts without conscious reasoning, distorted or negative thoughts or false emotions. 

The more you live each day intuitively will avail you to be more alert, comfortable, creative, and enlightened as well as fulfilled. The intuitive way of living becomes a way of life which is simpler and more affirming.

Connecting intuitively starts by getting in touch with your gut instincts. This connection will avail you the ability to know yourself better and understand all your capabilities, talents, qualities and authentic character which you were given innately.

So how do you go about entering into intuitive living?

A. Stay open and attuned to your gut instincts. 

The fastest way to enter into intuitive living is to do something different. Break away from the norm. Bypass your thoughts, which tend to be biased over time and corrupt your feelings. Start with finding time on a daily basis to stop what you are doing and shut yourself off from the outside world. Connect with your gut, home of your intuitive senses. 

B. Sit with yourself in calmness for 10 to 20 minutes every day. 

5 Tips for connecting intuitively 

Thinking intuitive can support a thriving intuitive living. When you experience a distorted thought, false emotion or contrary core belief causing you to be dysfunctional in your life, do the following:

1. Use mindfulness, meditation or just quietness to settle yourself. Shut off devices that cause you to be distracted, such as a computer, phone, and TV. Pick a calm and quiet place in your home to practice intuitiveness. Make the space comfortable and relaxing with warm colors, fragrances and various mixtures of textures.

2. Go past your thinking, feeling and drop your awareness to your gut (home of your intuition). 

3. While focusing on your gut, gather a sense of what is going on in yourself and your environment.

4. Once you have the sense, take that gut instinct you realized up to your heart. Now determine what your feeling is of the gut instinct you brought to your heart. Your resulting emotion is now your genuine feeling from your gut sense. 

5. Then when you have your gut sense and real feeling, move both up to your mind.  Form a thought about your gut sense and emotion. You will then have undistorted and authentic thinking.
For example, let's say a belief pops into your head like “you are not good enough.” Immediately drop into your gut and get a sense of that knowledge. The sense might be “I am good enough for me.” 

Then take the sense “I am good enough for me” to your heart and determine what your feelings are about the sense which may be “I feel good and proud of being good enough.” Once you have the sense I am good enough and that you feel good and proud of yourself take both into your mind and produce new thought. The new thought could be “I am good enough.”

Getting in touch with your gut instincts will give you more clarity on what is genuine and authentic about yourself. This process will help you avoid distorted or negative beliefs that had formed growing up and the resulting false emotions from distorted or contrary opinions. Sometimes you can get stuck in a loop of distorted or negative views you have of yourself, and fake feelings based on those distorted or contrary opinions. This looping doesn’t allow you to acquire a real sense of who you are really.

Take away

Living an intuitive lifestyle will increase your energy, focus, and mindfulness as well as calm your mind and help you gain clarity of your intuitive senses on what is going on with you and your immediate environment. Carve 10 to 20 minutes a day to spend time with yourself. Don’t allow daily problems to throw you off balance and cause you to get stuck in your head or outside difficulties.
         Coach Bill
Visit website for more information. Click here to download free eBook.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Powers of Thought: Resentments Are Barriers to Happiness

Carrying resentments from emotional wounds from your past?

Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you treat yourself as though you are a stranger? The worse occurrence in life is when you become conscious that you have been holding resentments against yourself. Then you realize you have disconnected from yourself because you don't like yourself due to something that happened to you by another person, or something you did wrong. 

You end up with a never-ending barrage of judgments, disappointment, and disgust in your mind along with strong emotions. At that point, you feel disconnected from yourself and refer to yourself as “someone that you use to know”. 

It is a widespread experience to become estranged or disown yourself because you have judged you as “not good enough,” “not deserving” or “not worthy.” This occurs because certain life events you had gone through caused you put a judgment you as “handling the situation wrong or could not control or stop what happened.”

Has this scenario happened to you? Many carry bitterness for wrongs and situations which happened growing up and do not even realize that they are still holding on to them. Hurt, bitterness, ill will toward another or feelings of being wrong which is held onto over time is termed resentment.   

Definition of Resentment

Definition of resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or thoughts of being wronged or hurt as a result of a situation which is a real hurt or imagined wrong. 
When someone is wronged, what is the appropriate response? Resentment is a normal emotional reaction to being unfairly wronged, emotionally hurt or harmed. Every one of us has been wronged by someone at one time in our lives or possibly many times. 
Think about this; unrealistic or too high expectations are resentments under construction. 

A Way to Change

To make a positive change in yourself, you have to recognize the baggage you are carrying from your past experiences. The energy it takes to hold to even just one resentment takes up all your strength. Over time the deep bitterness sinks further into your subconscious mind but remains active. Waiting for a resentment or old hurt to come to realization only hurts you not the offender. 

If your bitterness is direct at yourself, it only causes self-anger. 

First, let go of all resentments you carry against yourself or others. Resentments you hold from past experiences depletes all your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy. The objective of a resentment formation is the result of a hurt wish. The wish is that you want the person who hurt you is for that person to have something terrible happen to the offender or the offender hurts as bad as they hurt you.

Second, reconnect the lost relationship you have with you. Actively strive to revitalize a relationship with yourself. The benefit will generate new empowerment in your core being. This resurgence of personal power will add character, quality, and substance to your life. Success happens when you invest and nurture you. So invest in you and change yourself positively. 



6 Tips on Letting Go of Resentments

Now the primary question is how to dissolve resentments 
Since a formed resentment is a diluted and symbolic promise like “I will not move on with my life until the offender hurts as bad as I was hurt, then how do I stop holding onto it”. 

A promising method for letting go of resentments is to use the power of visualization. Visualization is intuitive powerful in discarding them. Here is an intuitive approach to assist you in accomplishing letting go. 

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. You can sit or lay down. Whichever is most comfortable for you. 

 2. Close your eyes, to begin. Use intuitive breathing as a way to start the approach to clear your thoughts, become mindful, calm your mind and enhance your focus. Perform a series of 4 intuitive breathes. Once completed then continue to breathe deeply without the counting in each breath.

3. Now visualizes yourself standing at the end of a path. In front of you is a deep pit. Behind you is the path.

4. See at your feet bags, luggage or boxes that contain all the resentment you have accumulated over time.

5. Visualize yourself picking up each bag, each piece of luggage, or individual box, one at a time and pitch them into the pit. When you have thrown all into the hole, verbalize to your self that you are never going to hold onto or emotional revisit any of them ever.

6. Then turn around 180 degrees in your mind and walk away down the path in a new direction.

Take away

An important that as you walk away on an emotional free journey, never doubt what you have accomplished or look back over your shoulder. Either of these acts will cause you to fall off of your new direction. Release yourself from old emotional wounds that do not serve you. 

Embrack on a new emotional journey free of emotional wounds.

Visit website for more information. Click here to download free eBook.

                                 Coach Bill

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Powers of Thought: Mental Stories Set Identity: 5 Positive Tips to Reset


The stories we tell ourselves are powerful and powerfully shape how we perceive life.

Stories which form in your mind about yourself over time plays a dominant role in every aspect of your life. The story you tell yourself determines who you are, how you and others view you, your mindset, your moods, and influences much of how you think.

You carry stories about everything. You have stories about yourself, your career, relationships, family members, and situations you have lived through. You even have stories about how everything you experience and how everyone affects you and your life. 

Your stories are influential to how you act, belief, feel, react and think.

Positive content in your stories can make you healthy. It all depends on the value you give the content in your stories.

The harmful content of your stories which you hold over time becomes your truth can make you dysfunctional or physically sick. 

On the one hand, if your narrative is predominantly negative, then it colors all you do negatively. Likewise, if your story you tell yourself is positive, then your outlook on everything is positive. Yes, you may have a mixture of both, but it is the percentage of negative versus positive determines which way you will act, believe, feel, react and then. Your story carries your strongest beliefs which you may not be aware of them until you write and then read your story.

Another issue you have to look at when viewing your story is the emotional charge which is attached to it. The higher your attachment to the emotional charge in your stories, the more influence, and power your stories have over you how you act, feel, react, and think.

Writing your story out so you can objectively evaluate your narrative from a neutral point of view as another person would see it. You have a tendency not to be aware of the direction your story influences you and what power it has over why you do, what you say, how you react to situations and thought you create.

If you are like many, you may say “I don’t truly know in depth who I am.” Look at it this way. If you don’t know whom you are as a person, then it is excellent. Then you don’t have to deconstruct how you are. All you have to do is create the story in your mind of who you want to be and have the narrative to tell yourself that will motivate you toward becoming fulfilled, satisfied, productive, and positive.
5 Positive & Productive Tips to Reset your Mental Stories

If you write your story and you find out that parts or all of your narrative have too much self-defeating or harmful influence and power in your life then it is simple, create a new story.

Here are positive and productive tips on how to discover what your story is and a way to re-author your story to help you determine how you want to be and live more mindful, fulfilled, and satisfied. 

#1 Write on what is your current story you tell yourself about you. (Important, include how you think about your beliefs, your confidence, your feelings, your moods, your abilities, your character, your talents, how you fit in your social life and so on)

#2 Next read through and evaluate which parts of your story are right, correct or sound, and which are harmful, untrue, dangerous, or toxic parts of your story. Also, determine which parts of your story has the most influence on you.

#3 Determine in the evaluation process which parts you focus on and feed more.

#4 Start recreating a new narrative by thinking about what part of your story do you want to keep and which parts you need to change.

#5 Lastly, re-author your story. Sit down and write a new narrative for yourself. Within this new narrative, write about who you will be as a person. What you will tell yourself about yourself. Describe your new beliefs, intentions how you will act, how you will think, behave and feel, what are your skills, abilities, what new mindset you will have (positive and productive), view of your future.

Permission is Power

Also within your new story, it is essential that you write within the body of your story that you give yourself permission to accept this new narrative in all aspects of your being. Meaning believes the story to your fullest. Make it your truth. 

Take Away

 Once your new story is completed, commit to reading it every day for the first 30 days and then put your story into practice in every aspect of your story. The more you practice it, the more skillful you will become at it. Over time, you will master your story, and it will become you. Through practice and believing in it, the story will become a part of you.
             Coach Bill
Visit my website for more information, articles and videos. Click  here to download free eBook

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Power of Thoughts: 5 Tips on Positive Thinking


Everyone is dissatisfied with negative thoughts. Who won't be? Everyone strives for change and creating happy, positive and productive thoughts. Many articles have been written about how to turn thoughts on to off, negative to positive and sad to happy. One technique does not work for everyone, and there is absolutely no pill in the world that can accomplish this necessary task. Change of thoughts is a personal endeavor. 

Changing Stream of Thought

So, how do you actually change your stream of thoughts? Well, there are four keys to accomplishing a significant this task in the way you can be more beneficial in altering your old thinking patterns forever. 

Recognition, understanding, and consistency, as well as follow through, are the most critical factors of changing the mind.  If you don't recognize the content of the thoughts which are blocking your motivation, fulfillment, and satisfaction, then nothing will help. If you don't understand then confusion resigns. If you can't be consistent, then don't start. If you do not follow through, game over. 

The second most crucial factor is belief. If you don't believe it is possible it will never happen.

The most significant understanding that can be gained is the mind is a powerful influencer of content and flavor of human thoughts.

Tip #1: 

The first step is to recognize the thoughts which you harbor in your subconscious mind that are negative, unfulfilling, and not serving you. Write down these thoughts on a piece of paper. Title your list negative thoughts. 

Examples of some negative thoughts which you might always be repeating to yourself in your head that might show up on your list: 

I am unhappy with my life 

I am not good enough 

I am undeserving of love 

I am unworthy of a productive life 

I am always doing things wrong 

Study your list once completed. Ponder your list and determine whether you want to continue to think these thoughts or not.

Tip # 2

Next, create a new list of self-statements you would like to take the place of your old thoughts on your above list. Make sure your new list of self-statements are positive and productive. These new self-messages would show up in your consciousness conscious stream of thoughts. Keep your list simple. Write down, no more than ten (10) self-statements you think should be worked on first. 

Note, every self-statement should start with “you deserve.” Every new self-message which turns into a thought needs to permit you to accept it. If you start your statement with “I am” the wish after it tells your brain that you already have it, your mind sees no need work toward completion. But if you start a new self-statement with “you deserve the understanding is that you do not have it yet and your mind will focus on making it happen and become your truth.

Examples are:

You deserve to be happy

You deserve to be good enough

You deserve to be deserving of loving relationships

You deserve to be worthy of a productive life

You deserve to make good and appropriate decision for yourself and your life

Tip #3 

Then, set up a daily schedule on your calendar to repeat your new list daily. To keep you personally accountable, commit to verbalizing your list every day. Have a time set every morning, afternoon, after dinner or before bedtime for thirty (30) days. During each regularly scheduled time, read your list four (4) times in a row. Your mind is most influenced just before you close your eyes to go asleep and first thing when you wake up. Why is that? Think about it. Most people think of negative things right before they go to sleep. 

Examples are things like what went wrong today, what I will face tomorrow, what I didn’t like today and how do I fix the mistakes I made today. Then their subconscious mind mills over those issues all the while they are asleep when they awaken before they get out of bed, they are afraid things they do during the day will go wrong, and bad things happen.

On the other hand, if you feed your subconscious mind with positive thoughts, then your subconscious mind will percolate on those positive thoughts on your list the whole time you asleep and in the morning when you wake up your subconscious mind will look to manifest that positive list and associate with positiveness in your life. 

Another time the mind is most influenced is when you wake up. Start your mind off first thing with positive and productive self-statements which will inspire what the mind will focus on all day long. 

Tip #4

Discipline through repetition is the fourth tip. Practice, practice and practice your list, some more. The more you practice your list, the quicker your self-statements will embed themselves in the subconscious mind and become your truth.

Being told something over and over again by someone your emotionally attached to or when you're repeating some thought constantly over time in your mind is how the old negative statements enter into your subconscious mind initially. Therefore through continuous practice, new self-statements will replace the older ones and be installed into your subconscious mind. 

Let’s look at an athlete who wants to win gold and become an Olympic level athlete. The way to reach his goal is by practicing his or her skills over and over again until they can perform the skills without thinking. The same is correct about changing thoughts. 

The more you repeat, repeat and repeat some more, your new self-statements, now termed Positive Life Statements, the quicker your new thoughts will stream into you conscious without you having to put in any conscious effort.

Tip #5

The last and most crucial understanding to gain is the connection is the part emotions play in this whole process. Emotional connectedness determines importance. Being emotionally attached to old negative thoughts or excited emotionally by the negative thoughts is how diluted thoughts embedded themselves in the first place and show up over and over in your thought stream. 

Why is emotional connectedness so essential? Reflect on this idea. A stranger can say whatever about you to you, and your subconscious mind rejects it because there is no emotional attachment to that person. But the smallest criticism from someone you are emotionally attached to (healthy or unhealthy) or you love can produce significant hurt that cuts to your core. Someone important to you is much more important to you than someone you are emotionally unattached to. 



The Secret

To be successful at changing your unhealthy thought patterns follow the five tips above.  Make your list (no more than ten (10) positive life affirmations at a time) repeat them at scheduled times. While you say, your self-statements attach an emotion to each as you repeat them. The stronger the connected emotion, the faster your self-statements will be accepted, and they will stay with you longer. 

Positive Life Statements are essential to changing unhealthy thought patterns. 

Take Away

You can't change what you do not know. So the secret to changing your mind is recognition. Followed by consistency, emotional commitment and finally practice. 
          Coach Bill

Monday, July 31, 2017

Powers of Thought: Mind Code is a Powerful Change Tool


Ever wondered how your mind works? 

Each one of us has questions about how our thoughts form. What generates them? Why our thoughts just happen and seem to have a mind of their own?

To know how you think the way you do would decrease the influence your thoughts have on you and increase your personal power. 

To know how your thoughts are the start of discovering their origin - your core beliefs. Core beliefs then feed content into the formation of your thoughts and then they manifest into your actions, behaviors, and emotions as well as your intuitive nature. 

To know all of this would give you greater confidence? Learning how you can change the way you think, like from negative and self-defeating to positive and productive thoughts, would also give you more hope and strength.

Start empowering yourself today. Shift your life by changing the way your thought form and the ensuing.

Take the next step

Click on the link below and listen to a free mini-lecture on mind code. The mind code mini-lecture will explain and give you great insight into how your thoughts form and how your mind process works.

          Click Here to Listen to a Free Mind Code Mini-Lecture

          Coach Bill

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Power of Thoughts: Tips for Making Dissociation Productive & Positive


Dissociation is the most creative survival power the human mind possesses. It can help a person get through horrible situations, emotional hurt, physical pain, and life-threatening experiences.

Dissociation, when enforced if needed, allows a person to escape the reality he or she is in, not be aware of the hurt, pain or threat which is happening at the moment, and numb or ignore the overwhelming physical and emotional discomfort. Yet it is so misunderstood. 

Helping professionals have designated this PTSD symptom as negative, a part of a disease and a character weakness. Nothing is further from the truth.

Why does everything associated with survival viewed as negative? Once out of abuse, trauma or combat situations or environments and the survival aspect is no longer needed, can't post-traumatic symptoms be looked at as productive and positive? 

Dissociation is Normal and Natural

Dissociation is a normal and natural beneficial reaction to life-threatening situations, such as abuse, trauma, or combat situation(s). Dissociation is an after-effect of experiencing harrowing experiences. Dissociation is a protective adaptive skill that allows anyone to avoid hurt or pain mentally, emotionally, physically or living in an untenable environment as well as a situation.

By definition, dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, and/or sense of identity when the whole is threatened with harm, hurt and pain on a mental, emotional, physical or spiritual level. 

Therefore, dissociation is the ability to an instinctively, and creatively focus to mentally / emotionally block out the present to escape and survive what is happening in reality. Probably, since abusive, traumatic, and combat experiences are viewed as negative, horrible and overwhelming the resulting symptoms are seen as negative, and terrible. 

Dissociation is very misunderstood by many professionals causing the general public to fear it, and survivors to be confused by it.

Tips on Making Dissociation Productive and Positive

Tip #1 Dissociation does not have to be negative. 

Dissociation is an adaptive survival skill. Actually, saves victim's lives. It has long been conveyed as bad, negative, or maladaptive when not in trauma. But the truth is dissociation can be a positive, productive and a powerful adaptative skill. Actually, dissociation is the ability to divert focus inward, adapt, and adjust quickly to survive an overwhelming and possible life threating situation.

Tip #2 Dissociation can be a Productivity Tool

Dissociation, if no longer feared, embarrassed, cultivated, and practiced, can be used as a productive focus tool. When combined with other elements like intuitive breathing method and mindfulness dissociation increases in power. All three combined increases productiveness significantly.  Dissociation can result in increased task completion, for better performance in classwork, job, and school, for sports performance improvement, and job projects and general health improvements to aid in improved daily function.

Tip #3 Make Dissociation Positive 

To make dissociation positive you have to change your mindset. Change the way you view dissociation. You have to change your mindset from viewing dissociation as a pathology symptom to seeing dissociation as productive and as an advantage.
Once you make the change then practice your mindset change a lot.

Tip #4 Positive and Productivity Tips

Here are some symptoms of dissociation combined with how you can change each to be positive and productive.

 Feeling of being disconnected from yourself

    (Make your experience productive and positive by reconnecting with yourself and increasing
     your relationship with yourself)

 Problems with handling intense emotions

    (Make your experience productive and positive by embracing your emotions, instead of ignoring them or disconnecting from them. It is better to learn how to experience your feelings rather than running from or numbing them out. Emotions are only painful if you believe they are.)

 Sudden and unexpected shifts in mood – for example, feeling very sad for no reason

    (Make your experience productive and positive by learning your triggers. Recognizing
     your triggers reduce your inappropriate response to them and how to neutralize their
     power and influence over you.)

 Depression or anxiety problems, or both

    (Make your experience productive and positive by breathing exercises, meditation, mindfulness, being in the moment and learning intuitive breathing to reduce depression and anxiety.)

 Feeling as though the world is distorted or not real

     (Make your experience productive and positive by checking out your environment by asking yourself these questions. What is my sense of what is happening? Then determine if your gut sense is real or unreal? Is it true or false? Is it productive or unproductive? Your answers will help you focus and achieve clarity in your thoughts.)

 Memory problems such as flashbacks, forgetting crucial personal information and significant memory lapses

     (Make your experience productive by journaling thoughts and feelings and taking notes on your memories as they come to you. Take your information and check them against your history as you know it to be)

Other cognitive (thought-related) problems such as concentration problems, like forgetting crucial personal information or wandering thoughts

   (Make your experience positive and productive by remaining mindful and connected to the moment. Find a point in the present that will assist you in focusing your attention on what you are doing, therefore, enhancing the ability to stay present.)

Feeling compelled to behave in a certain way

   (Make your experience positive and productive by reducing impulsiveness, sense of acting and being mindful. Ask if what I am doing will help?)

Identity confusion – for example, behaving in a way that anyone else would usually find offensive or abhorrent.

   (Make productive by checking your beliefs and change the one which is harmful. Rescript your identity into the identity you want to have now. Your traumatic experience changed your character, so it is your power to correct it in your favor. Your identity is your right to change.)

⦁ Feel as though negative attitude is the default

   (Make your experience positive and productive by deciding an appropriate mindset toward dissociation.)

Subtypes of Dissociation

More Information: Two Subtypes of Dissociation

There are subtypes of dissociation many mistaken as dissociation. Both of these subtypes of dissociation are byproducts of experiencing intense anxiety as a result of experiencing abuse, trauma, or combat events. These both cause self-judging of yourself and your environment. Severe anxiety, doubt, stress, second-guessing, and overthinking result from living through life-threatening experiences. 

It is essential to understand if you are in a state of self-judgment, you are not in a state of self. Therefore losing connection with yourself and your surroundings. Both subtypes can develop as a result lesser degree of experiences and without the development of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. 

1. Depersonalization

Recent research evaluating the relationship between Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and dissociation has suggested that there is a dissociative subtype of PTSD, defined primarily by symptoms of derealization (i.e., feeling as if the world is not real) and depersonalization (i.e., feeling as if you not real).

An ‘out-of-body’ or depersonalization experience during which individuals often see themselves observing their own body from above can create the perception that ‘this is not happening to me’ and is typically accompanied by an attenuation of the emotional experience.

2. Derealization

Similarly, states of derealization during which individuals experience that ‘things are not real; it is just a dream’ create the perception that ‘this is not really happening to me’ and are often associated with the experience of decreased emotional intensity or emotional numbness.

Questions to Enhance Enlightenment about Making Dissociation Positive and Productive 

The following 10 questions can help you further overcome dissociation. Recognizing your mind and body reactions can reduce the power, and of the dissociation. You can become more mindful, more intuitive, more positive, and make better decisions to be more productive. Your answers can help you to be more compassionate and create a positiveness toward yourself.

1. Ask yourself "What is your mind telling you?"

2. What is your body telling you?

3. What is your feeling telling you?

4. What is your intuition telling you?

5. What are you running from?

6. What are your top 5 fears about myself?

(Break down your list from top 5 into your top 3. Then evaluate your top 3 by answering the following questions; Are my biggest fears true or false? Is it real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

7. What are your top 5 fears about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the biggest fear? Then evaluate by answering – Is my biggest fear - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

8. What are your top 5 core beliefs about myself?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the most essential core belief? Then evaluate by answering – What is my most important core belief - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

9. What are your top 5 core beliefs about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the most essential core belief? Then evaluate by answering – Is my most important core belief - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

10. How can I take what is going on inside of me or in my environment and make it productive?

Takeaway

Making dissociation positive and productive can be achieved after you are no longer are in an abusive, traumatic, or combative situations or surroundings as well as willing and ready to shift your point of view and change your mindset.

           Coach Bill

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Powers of Thought: Tips for Challenging Negative Thoughts & Lies


Everyone is troubled with negative thoughts or cognitive lies about themselves or situations or abilities at some point in their lives.

When the brain goes into negative mode, it can eat away your positiveness, productiveness, creativity, and general fulfillment. 

Negative thoughts are harmless unless you believe in them. In fact, believing in negative thoughts permits negative content more influence and power over how you act, believe, feel, react and think. 

Whether aware of it or not the average person thinks anywhere from 11,000 to 70,000 thoughts or more per day. Amazingly, 85 percent of people's thoughts are negative. Repetitious negative thinking trains the brain to focus more on the negative rather than positive thoughts. It is human nature to focus on the negative thoughts to fix them or make things right and take positive thoughts for granted. To be more positive and productive negative thinking, ruminations and cognitive lies have to be turned around by taking away their power, and you accomplish this task through confronting or challenging them. 

The key elements to turning around negative thoughts, ruminations, and cognitive lies in positive and productive thoughts are as follows: 1) identifying and recognizing the negative core beliefs which are generating your thoughts. Two, challenge those negative beliefs by denouncing them. Three, replacing those negative beliefs (aka mind code errors) with positive ideas which are more accurate and correct beliefs. Shifting negative beliefs into positive ones end in a more positive inner voice also. 

If negative thought, ruminating, and cognitive lies go unchecked then the result could be a thought addiction, stronger negative thoughts and influential cognitive lies that turn into fact and truth while causing false emotions, and inappropriate behaviors or acting out.

Distorted thoughts do not start at the thought level. If cognition is attempted to be corrected at the thought level, then the mark has been missed. Thoughts are a byproduct of what is called negative core beliefs which are generated from one's mind code. Mind code is the accumulation of data accepted from life experiences and situations that turn into self-messages (aka core beliefs). If core beliefs are negative, then one’s inner voice is negative.

Personal Philosophy Restructuring is coaching method based on the understanding that your mind code influences the creation of core beliefs or self-messages which feed content to your inner voice. Your inner voice then produces and governs the formation of thoughts which determines and manifests in emotions and behaviors. 

To look at it a different way. Data gathered from life experiences and situations are accepted and stored in the subconscious mind (mind code, core beliefs, core values and core expectations). Subconscious data becomes conscious once the data passes into conscious awareness at the inner voice phase and thoughts are actually formed and generated through the inner voice statements. At this point, no one or the outside world can see or know what is occurring in your head. Thoughts influence and govern the production of behaviors, emotions, and reactions which everyone can understand. 
So, when you change your core beliefs to positive and productive which will drastically interrupt the sequence just described resulting in altering your thoughts, and subsequently, you act and react differently as well as feel differently.

Therefore, if the data you absorb (aka mind code) from your life experiences are critical, hurtful, judging, lies, negative, or painful your core beliefs will be self-critical, hurtful, self-judging, lies, negative, and full of pain and the end result will be that your behaviors tend to be inappropriate and not helpful in situations. Also, your emotions will be false based on distorted data.



What can be done?

Negative thoughts and self-lies are the results of formed negative beliefs. When you don’t have all of the knowledge of what is happening to you or why our thoughts are so distorted, skewed and negative, you have a tendency to believe them, and they become your self-truths. Then your life becomes a burden and ultimately unfulfilling. 

Empowering yourself with the first step of identifying and recognizing is essential. Here are tips to help you to empower yourself by challenging your core beliefs. To be empowered you have to face your negative thought and cognitive lies directly.

How to Challenge  Your Negative Thoughts and Cognitive Lies

Answering these questions will empower you in discovering the truth of your core beliefs which are generating negative thoughts & cognitive lies.

How do I know if my thoughts are based on accurate and truthful core beliefs?

What evidence or fact do I have to support this belief?

How can I do to test my belief to find out if it’s accurate?

Do I have a trusted friend, loved one or family member who knows me well enough that I can check out my beliefs with?

Is this belief helpful, positive or productive to my life?

Are there other ways that I can believe in myself or life situations?

Am I too critical, judging, negative or punitive toward myself?

From my history, who else or what situations contributed to me believing this way about myself?
Are my actions, feelings and thinking really under my control?

Am I over thinking my beliefs about myself or over expecting to the point of being disappointed in my performance?

What would I say to another I was emotionally attached to expressing the same beliefs about themselves in this situation?

Do I always view the best in others and the worst in myself?

Am I doubting who I believe I am or holding myself to unreasonable standards?

Are my beliefs (self-messages) I have about me - 1. true or false, 2. real or illusion, 3. productive or unproductive, or 4. healthy or unhealthy?

You can challenge your negative core belief and self-lies with the questions above by making a list of all the beliefs you have toward yourself. This can be hard, because some beliefs have become so distorted, so ingrained, and so deeply embedded in your subconscious mind that they have become your self-truths, therefore, you do not recognize them as a lie or you challenge their validity. 

Take Away

When working on discovering your negative core beliefs and listing them try to have a positive mindset, be mindful, open and consider all possibilities. Merely doing this exercise can help you to understand why you act, feel think and react toward yourself and in situations the way you do. 

The belief list can show you which of your beliefs are not true, which were based on made up judgments from others, which are illusions you have about you from others, which are not productive and the ones that are exceptionally mentally, emotionally and physically unhealthy. So you don’t have to own them anymore. Detach and discard the beliefs that don’t serve you and replace them with strong beliefs which will empower you and enhance your life.

Visit my website and click here to download free eBook for more information on this topic.

                                     Coach Bill

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Powers of Thought: Tips on Protecting Personal Energy


Living mindfully is about being connected with and living in the moment. Everything that you believe, view, touch, hear, feel, and think is made up of energy. Negative energy, as well as positive energy, can be accumulated and held onto causing dysfunction, self-destructive emotions, inappropriate behavior and a general negative overview of self. 

It is well known that it takes more energy to disavow yourself of something than allowing yourself something. The loss of personal energy creates a hole. Human beings do not tolerate empty holes. So seeking a replacement becomes (good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or addictive) the main objective. 

Knowledge comes from experiencing your energy in the moment and not getting lost in the past or projecting into the future. When you get lost in the past or focusing on predicting the future all your energy depletes due to the amount of energy it takes to be in more than one place at a time. Meaning on one hand attempting to live in the moment and focused on fixing what went wrong in the past make your energy vulnerable. On the other hand, attempting to live your life in the present and focused on predicting what might or might not happen in the future also causes your energy to evaporate.



Many times in your life you modulate in and out of periods of energy loss. Why? You do not allow or permitted to protect and enhance your own energy for one or more reasons. Why? Because you were never allowed or given permission to think of yourself first.

To protect your own energy, here are some tips for you. 

19 permissions you should adopt to be healthy and have a good supply of personal energy.
  
To protect my energy, you are allowed by treating yourself first 

To protect my energy, you are allowed to protect yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to change beliefs

To protect my energy, you are allowed to believe in yourself 

To protect my energy, you are allowed to be committed to yourself first

To protect my energy, you are allowed to spend a day with yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to not to fulfill others expectations

To protect my energy, you are allowed to not share yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to not seek others validation

To protect my energy, you are allowed to do nothing

To protect my energy, you are allowed to spend time alone

To protect my energy, you are allowed to sleep in 

To protect my energy, you are allowed to find your voice and express opinions

To protect my energy, you are allowed to move forward

To protect my energy, you are allowed to stop holding onto people, place, and things that don't serve you

To protect my energy, you are allowed to embrace yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to change


To protect my energy, you are allowed to be mindful

Take Away

If you are not mindful of what you are allowed or personally have permission to do with yourself or in life you could lose more than just your energy. The most important aspect of yourself is what you believe about yourself. Not whether someone else is better than you or how you compare to them. Diverting your energy from yourself to obsessing what others expect, think or want from you sucks up your energy you need to live mindfully.

Turn it all around. Know what you are permitted to do or not to do. Take the ones you are not allowed to do for yourself and change by giving yourself permission. 

Live a fulfilled and healthy by enjoying life at the moment. The moment is all you have and that is real.

    Visit my website and click here to download a FREE eBook

                            Coach Bill