"If I could just get rid of my overwhelming hurt from horrible childhood experiences that I have been carrying most of my life I would but I don't know how. I keep being attentive to them. Due to my constant feelings of hurt, I don't have a good feeling about myself, in fact, I hate myself at times." - J. Backbe
Post-traumatic Stress (PTS) is very hard to deal with after experiencing overwhelming emotionally hurt from painful situations. The amnesty experience between the actual hurtful experience and onset of PTS symptoms is so sweet. Then at some point, the reprieve ends and the recollections begin to surface. Sometimes it is just a flash of a vivid image from the traumatic situation or a connected sound but many times it is a piece of painful unprocessed emotion that you can’t connect to your history.
Here is something even stranger, I found myself not wanting to let go of them. It was almost as though the pain / the emotional hurt was frightening but so comfortable at the same time. I could never figure out why. I finally understood and came to believe that I didn't want to stop holding on because if I let go of my emotional pain then I would not be able to figure out how to fix my past.
All through her story, she could not lift her head the whole time to look at me.
I asked, “who is responsible?”
She answered without hesitation and with resounding positiveness “my body”. She continued "Rationally I know who it was but somehow my thinking keeps on averting responsibility off of him and places the responsibility on me, or should I say my body. But seems as though my logical thinking changed in those 20 seconds. Frozen in that moment. Since then my emotional mind keeps going back to that frozen point in time. Those emotions I have not dealt with haunt, my Soul. I have been emotionally replaying it and beating myself up, over and over again.”
pain will only cause you to focus on regrets.
2. Focus on the Moment
Best way to eliminate the effects past emotional pains is to become mindful. Mindfulness is being aware and in the moment.
Don't focus on old regrets because there is no way you can change what has already happened. Focusing on old regrets which you can't complete will cause an increase in anxiety.
Also do not focus on predicting what might or might not happen in the future. Not one can foresee the future. Not predicting will significantly reduce worry and stress.