Follow by Email

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Recognition: The New Life Skill

The question I get asked over and over again; “How do I totally get rid of my traumatic flashbacks?” To wipe out memory is something that no life skill, or substance can achieve. For a person to attain amnesia willingly without a brain injury is not possible. 

Abandoning yourself is not a way to amnesia either. No one or nothing can take memory, good or bad, away. No one can help you unrecord a memory that has already been recorded. But the emotional charge can be nulified, leaving the flashback or memory with only content. Content without the original emotional charge leaves the flashback or memory harmless.

Yet there is a life skill that can help you to reduce the effects and impact of intrusive memories. The first step is to recognize the memory of life event. Recognize that life event was so emotionally overwhelming. All of us experience events in our life that are so emotionally charged or traumatizing that we repress the memory of the event without achievung emotional closure first. When the unclosed memory (flashback) surfaces later in our life, our response is to avoid, deny, fight or ignore it. Each time we avoid, deny, fight or ignore the flashback, the memory fragment becomes more intense and we become more fearful. 

To reduce the effects of flashbacks is to just relax, let it play and recognize the flashback. Initially it is uncomfortable to face a flashback and you may not like the information it contains, but the overwhelming feeling will pass. Once it is recognized, the flashback cannot scare you again.

A life truth is that every human wants recognition. We want to be recognized for what we have accomplished or for who we are. So does your memory. It is a human desire to be recognized.

A second step for reducing the effects is to acquire a new life skill. One such life skill is Rapid Reduction Technique (RRT). So learn and perform a Rapid Reduction Technique (RRT) on the memories that frighten you. RRT can help a you safely face a flashback, process the inrusive information, make closure on past hurtful emotions and assist in the integration of the memory into long-term memory.

Here was two safe and health producing life skill steps to help you more further into recovery. Take back your personal authority and what was taken from you. You have the power.
No matter what we cannot undo what has already been recorded but the effects of our past can be reduced and become more balanced and whole person.

                             Coach Bill

Why Do I Feel So Empty?: Abandoning Self

Many times I get asked yourself  “why do I feel so empty? 

No matter what I do or take never fills that emptiness.” I have talked to hundreds and hundreds of survivors who battled this feeling every day. It is unfortunate that survivors of abusive and traumatic life events experience this feeling literally. Survivors never look at the fact that survival is a symbolic process. There are two natural or innate life actions that cause this feeling of emptiness.

2 Tips

One, the empty feeling is the result of the core self's need to survive. 

Core Self is instinctively taken out of its natural position and hidden away out of love for protection. This process is called "dissociation" which is a gift from God or our Higher power to escape the reality of a painful, overwhelming life event. The resulting emptiness is the spot the core self uses to reside in and the spot for a future replacement.

The second is when the feeling of emptiness surfaces long after the overwhelming life event over and is the process of judging self harshly. 

To add clarity to this concept you have to understand the phrase “if you are in a state of judgment then you are not in a state of self.” In order for a person to judge self, they have to step out of self to view and evaluate self’s performance. If the person is out of self to view performance, then one cannot be in the “here and now” with self. Meaning that the person is not present in self and cannot experience what is happening. Therefore achieving another way to escape a painful reality. 

Take Away

Everyone knows that self-judgment is not healthy.
So in order to be a healthy authentic self, stop judging yourself. Be mindful of your intuitive need to express yourself. Remember, “The world is self-defeating enough without your help.”

         Coach Bill