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Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Powers of Thought: Resentments Are Barriers to Happiness

Carrying resentments from emotional wounds from your past?

Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you treat yourself as though you are a stranger? The worse occurrence in life is when you become conscious that you have been holding resentments against yourself. Then you realize you have disconnected from yourself because you don't like yourself due to something that happened to you by another person, or something you did wrong. 

You end up with a never-ending barrage of judgments, disappointment, and disgust in your mind along with strong emotions. At that point, you feel disconnected from yourself and refer to yourself as “someone that you use to know”. 

It is a widespread experience to become estranged or disown yourself because you have judged you as “not good enough,” “not deserving” or “not worthy.” This occurs because certain life events you had gone through caused you put a judgment you as “handling the situation wrong or could not control or stop what happened.”

Has this scenario happened to you? Many carry bitterness for wrongs and situations which happened growing up and do not even realize that they are still holding on to them. Hurt, bitterness, ill will toward another or feelings of being wrong which is held onto over time is termed resentment.   

Definition of Resentment

Definition of resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or thoughts of being wronged or hurt as a result of a situation which is a real hurt or imagined wrong. 
When someone is wronged, what is the appropriate response? Resentment is a normal emotional reaction to being unfairly wronged, emotionally hurt or harmed. Every one of us has been wronged by someone at one time in our lives or possibly many times. 
Think about this; unrealistic or too high expectations are resentments under construction. 

A Way to Change

To make a positive change in yourself, you have to recognize the baggage you are carrying from your past experiences. The energy it takes to hold to even just one resentment takes up all your strength. Over time the deep bitterness sinks further into your subconscious mind but remains active. Waiting for a resentment or old hurt to come to realization only hurts you not the offender. 

If your bitterness is direct at yourself, it only causes self-anger. 

First, let go of all resentments you carry against yourself or others. Resentments you hold from past experiences depletes all your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy. The objective of a resentment formation is the result of a hurt wish. The wish is that you want the person who hurt you is for that person to have something terrible happen to the offender or the offender hurts as bad as they hurt you.

Second, reconnect the lost relationship you have with you. Actively strive to revitalize a relationship with yourself. The benefit will generate new empowerment in your core being. This resurgence of personal power will add character, quality, and substance to your life. Success happens when you invest and nurture you. So invest in you and change yourself positively. 

6 Tips on Letting Go of Resentments

Now the primary question is how to dissolve resentments 
Since a formed resentment is a diluted and symbolic promise like “I will not move on with my life until the offender hurts as bad as I was hurt, then how do I stop holding onto it”. 

A promising method for letting go of resentments is to use the power of visualization. Visualization is intuitive powerful in discarding them. Here is an intuitive approach to assist you in accomplishing letting go. 

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. You can sit or lay down. Whichever is most comfortable for you. 

 2. Close your eyes, to begin. Use intuitive breathing as a way to start the approach to clear your thoughts, become mindful, calm your mind and enhance your focus. Perform a series of 4 intuitive breathes. Once completed then continue to breathe deeply without the counting in each breath.

3. Now visualizes yourself standing at the end of a path. In front of you is a deep pit. Behind you is the path.

4. See at your feet bags, luggage or boxes that contain all the resentment you have accumulated over time.

5. Visualize yourself picking up each bag, each piece of luggage, or individual box, one at a time and pitch them into the pit. When you have thrown all into the hole, verbalize to your self that you are never going to hold onto or emotional revisit any of them ever.

6. Then turn around 180 degrees in your mind and walk away down the path in a new direction.

Take away

An important that as you walk away on an emotional free journey, never doubt what you have accomplished or look back over your shoulder. Either of these acts will cause you to fall off of your new direction. Release yourself from old emotional wounds that do not serve you. 

Embrack on a new emotional journey free of emotional wounds.

Visit website for more information. Click here to download free eBook.

                                 Coach Bill

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Powers of Thought: Mental Stories Set Identity: 5 Positive Tips to Reset

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful and powerfully shape how we perceive life.

Stories which form in your mind about yourself over time plays a dominant role in every aspect of your life. The story you tell yourself determines who you are, how you and others view you, your mindset, your moods, and influences much of how you think.

You carry stories about everything. You have stories about yourself, your career, relationships, family members, and situations you have lived through. You even have stories about how everything you experience and how everyone affects you and your life. 

Your stories are influential to how you act, belief, feel, react and think.

Positive content in your stories can make you healthy. It all depends on the value you give the content in your stories.

The harmful content of your stories which you hold over time becomes your truth can make you dysfunctional or physically sick. 

On the one hand, if your narrative is predominantly negative, then it colors all you do negatively. Likewise, if your story you tell yourself is positive, then your outlook on everything is positive. Yes, you may have a mixture of both, but it is the percentage of negative versus positive determines which way you will act, believe, feel, react and then. Your story carries your strongest beliefs which you may not be aware of them until you write and then read your story.

Another issue you have to look at when viewing your story is the emotional charge which is attached to it. The higher your attachment to the emotional charge in your stories, the more influence, and power your stories have over you how you act, feel, react, and think.

Writing your story out so you can objectively evaluate your narrative from a neutral point of view as another person would see it. You have a tendency not to be aware of the direction your story influences you and what power it has over why you do, what you say, how you react to situations and thought you create.

If you are like many, you may say “I don’t truly know in depth who I am.” Look at it this way. If you don’t know whom you are as a person, then it is excellent. Then you don’t have to deconstruct how you are. All you have to do is create the story in your mind of who you want to be and have the narrative to tell yourself that will motivate you toward becoming fulfilled, satisfied, productive, and positive.
5 Positive & Productive Tips to Reset your Mental Stories

If you write your story and you find out that parts or all of your narrative have too much self-defeating or harmful influence and power in your life then it is simple, create a new story.

Here are positive and productive tips on how to discover what your story is and a way to re-author your story to help you determine how you want to be and live more mindful, fulfilled, and satisfied. 

#1 Write on what is your current story you tell yourself about you. (Important, include how you think about your beliefs, your confidence, your feelings, your moods, your abilities, your character, your talents, how you fit in your social life and so on)

#2 Next read through and evaluate which parts of your story are right, correct or sound, and which are harmful, untrue, dangerous, or toxic parts of your story. Also, determine which parts of your story has the most influence on you.

#3 Determine in the evaluation process which parts you focus on and feed more.

#4 Start recreating a new narrative by thinking about what part of your story do you want to keep and which parts you need to change.

#5 Lastly, re-author your story. Sit down and write a new narrative for yourself. Within this new narrative, write about who you will be as a person. What you will tell yourself about yourself. Describe your new beliefs, intentions how you will act, how you will think, behave and feel, what are your skills, abilities, what new mindset you will have (positive and productive), view of your future.

Permission is Power

Also within your new story, it is essential that you write within the body of your story that you give yourself permission to accept this new narrative in all aspects of your being. Meaning believes the story to your fullest. Make it your truth. 

Take Away

 Once your new story is completed, commit to reading it every day for the first 30 days and then put your story into practice in every aspect of your story. The more you practice it, the more skillful you will become at it. Over time, you will master your story, and it will become you. Through practice and believing in it, the story will become a part of you.
             Coach Bill
Visit my website for more information, articles and videos. Click  here to download free eBook

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Power of Thoughts: 5 Tips on Positive Thinking

Everyone is dissatisfied with negative thoughts. Who won't be? Everyone strives for change and creating happy, positive and productive thoughts. Many articles have been written about how to turn thoughts on to off, negative to positive and sad to happy. One technique does not work for everyone, and there is absolutely no pill in the world that can accomplish this necessary task. Change of thoughts is a personal endeavor. 

Changing Stream of Thought

So, how do you actually change your stream of thoughts? Well, there are four keys to accomplishing a significant this task in the way you can be more beneficial in altering your old thinking patterns forever. 

Recognition, understanding, and consistency, as well as follow through, are the most critical factors of changing the mind.  If you don't recognize the content of the thoughts which are blocking your motivation, fulfillment, and satisfaction, then nothing will help. If you don't understand then confusion resigns. If you can't be consistent, then don't start. If you do not follow through, game over. 

The second most crucial factor is belief. If you don't believe it is possible it will never happen.

The most significant understanding that can be gained is the mind is a powerful influencer of content and flavor of human thoughts.

Tip #1: 

The first step is to recognize the thoughts which you harbor in your subconscious mind that are negative, unfulfilling, and not serving you. Write down these thoughts on a piece of paper. Title your list negative thoughts. 

Examples of some negative thoughts which you might always be repeating to yourself in your head that might show up on your list: 

I am unhappy with my life 

I am not good enough 

I am undeserving of love 

I am unworthy of a productive life 

I am always doing things wrong 

Study your list once completed. Ponder your list and determine whether you want to continue to think these thoughts or not.

Tip # 2

Next, create a new list of self-statements you would like to take the place of your old thoughts on your above list. Make sure your new list of self-statements are positive and productive. These new self-messages would show up in your consciousness conscious stream of thoughts. Keep your list simple. Write down, no more than ten (10) self-statements you think should be worked on first. 

Note, every self-statement should start with “you deserve.” Every new self-message which turns into a thought needs to permit you to accept it. If you start your statement with “I am” the wish after it tells your brain that you already have it, your mind sees no need work toward completion. But if you start a new self-statement with “you deserve the understanding is that you do not have it yet and your mind will focus on making it happen and become your truth.

Examples are:

You deserve to be happy

You deserve to be good enough

You deserve to be deserving of loving relationships

You deserve to be worthy of a productive life

You deserve to make good and appropriate decision for yourself and your life

Tip #3 

Then, set up a daily schedule on your calendar to repeat your new list daily. To keep you personally accountable, commit to verbalizing your list every day. Have a time set every morning, afternoon, after dinner or before bedtime for thirty (30) days. During each regularly scheduled time, read your list four (4) times in a row. Your mind is most influenced just before you close your eyes to go asleep and first thing when you wake up. Why is that? Think about it. Most people think of negative things right before they go to sleep. 

Examples are things like what went wrong today, what I will face tomorrow, what I didn’t like today and how do I fix the mistakes I made today. Then their subconscious mind mills over those issues all the while they are asleep when they awaken before they get out of bed, they are afraid things they do during the day will go wrong, and bad things happen.

On the other hand, if you feed your subconscious mind with positive thoughts, then your subconscious mind will percolate on those positive thoughts on your list the whole time you asleep and in the morning when you wake up your subconscious mind will look to manifest that positive list and associate with positiveness in your life. 

Another time the mind is most influenced is when you wake up. Start your mind off first thing with positive and productive self-statements which will inspire what the mind will focus on all day long. 

Tip #4

Discipline through repetition is the fourth tip. Practice, practice and practice your list, some more. The more you practice your list, the quicker your self-statements will embed themselves in the subconscious mind and become your truth.

Being told something over and over again by someone your emotionally attached to or when you're repeating some thought constantly over time in your mind is how the old negative statements enter into your subconscious mind initially. Therefore through continuous practice, new self-statements will replace the older ones and be installed into your subconscious mind. 

Let’s look at an athlete who wants to win gold and become an Olympic level athlete. The way to reach his goal is by practicing his or her skills over and over again until they can perform the skills without thinking. The same is correct about changing thoughts. 

The more you repeat, repeat and repeat some more, your new self-statements, now termed Positive Life Statements, the quicker your new thoughts will stream into you conscious without you having to put in any conscious effort.

Tip #5

The last and most crucial understanding to gain is the connection is the part emotions play in this whole process. Emotional connectedness determines importance. Being emotionally attached to old negative thoughts or excited emotionally by the negative thoughts is how diluted thoughts embedded themselves in the first place and show up over and over in your thought stream. 

Why is emotional connectedness so essential? Reflect on this idea. A stranger can say whatever about you to you, and your subconscious mind rejects it because there is no emotional attachment to that person. But the smallest criticism from someone you are emotionally attached to (healthy or unhealthy) or you love can produce significant hurt that cuts to your core. Someone important to you is much more important to you than someone you are emotionally unattached to. 

The Secret

To be successful at changing your unhealthy thought patterns follow the five tips above.  Make your list (no more than ten (10) positive life affirmations at a time) repeat them at scheduled times. While you say, your self-statements attach an emotion to each as you repeat them. The stronger the connected emotion, the faster your self-statements will be accepted, and they will stay with you longer. 

Positive Life Statements are essential to changing unhealthy thought patterns. 

Take Away

You can't change what you do not know. So the secret to changing your mind is recognition. Followed by consistency, emotional commitment and finally practice. 
          Coach Bill

Monday, July 31, 2017

Powers of Thought: Mind Code is a Powerful Change Tool

Ever wondered how your mind works? 

Each one of us has questions about how our thoughts form. What generates them? Why our thoughts just happen and seem to have a mind of their own?

To know how you think the way you do would decrease the influence your thoughts have on you and increase your personal power. 

To know how your thoughts are the start of discovering their origin - your core beliefs. Core beliefs then feed content into the formation of your thoughts and then they manifest into your actions, behaviors, and emotions as well as your intuitive nature. 

To know all of this would give you greater confidence? Learning how you can change the way you think, like from negative and self-defeating to positive and productive thoughts, would also give you more hope and strength.

Start empowering yourself today. Shift your life by changing the way your thought form and the ensuing.

Take the next step

Click on the link below and listen to a free mini-lecture on mind code. The mind code mini-lecture will explain and give you great insight into how your thoughts form and how your mind process works.

          Click Here to Listen to a Free Mind Code Mini-Lecture

          Coach Bill

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Power of Thoughts: Tips for Making Dissociation Productive & Positive

Dissociation is the most creative survival power the human mind possesses. It can help a person get through horrible situations, emotional hurt, physical pain, and life-threatening experiences.

Dissociation, when enforced if needed, allows a person to escape the reality he or she is in, not be aware of the hurt, pain or threat which is happening at the moment, and numb or ignore the overwhelming physical and emotional discomfort. Yet it is so misunderstood. 

Helping professionals have designated this PTSD symptom as negative, a part of a disease and a character weakness. Nothing is further from the truth.

Why does everything associated with survival viewed as negative? Once out of abuse, trauma or combat situations or environments and the survival aspect is no longer needed, can't post-traumatic symptoms be looked at as productive and positive? 

Dissociation is Normal and Natural

Dissociation is a normal and natural beneficial reaction to life-threatening situations, such as abuse, trauma, or combat situation(s). Dissociation is an after-effect of experiencing harrowing experiences. Dissociation is a protective adaptive skill that allows anyone to avoid hurt or pain mentally, emotionally, physically or living in an untenable environment as well as a situation.

By definition, dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, and/or sense of identity when the whole is threatened with harm, hurt and pain on a mental, emotional, physical or spiritual level. 

Therefore, dissociation is the ability to an instinctively, and creatively focus to mentally / emotionally block out the present to escape and survive what is happening in reality. Probably, since abusive, traumatic, and combat experiences are viewed as negative, horrible and overwhelming the resulting symptoms are seen as negative, and terrible. 

Dissociation is very misunderstood by many professionals causing the general public to fear it, and survivors to be confused by it.

Tips on Making Dissociation Productive and Positive

Tip #1 Dissociation does not have to be negative. 

Dissociation is an adaptive survival skill. Actually, saves victim's lives. It has long been conveyed as bad, negative, or maladaptive when not in trauma. But the truth is dissociation can be a positive, productive and a powerful adaptative skill. Actually, dissociation is the ability to divert focus inward, adapt, and adjust quickly to survive an overwhelming and possible life threating situation.

Tip #2 Dissociation can be a Productivity Tool

Dissociation, if no longer feared, embarrassed, cultivated, and practiced, can be used as a productive focus tool. When combined with other elements like intuitive breathing method and mindfulness dissociation increases in power. All three combined increases productiveness significantly.  Dissociation can result in increased task completion, for better performance in classwork, job, and school, for sports performance improvement, and job projects and general health improvements to aid in improved daily function.

Tip #3 Make Dissociation Positive 

To make dissociation positive you have to change your mindset. Change the way you view dissociation. You have to change your mindset from viewing dissociation as a pathology symptom to seeing dissociation as productive and as an advantage.
Once you make the change then practice your mindset change a lot.

Tip #4 Positive and Productivity Tips

Here are some symptoms of dissociation combined with how you can change each to be positive and productive.

 Feeling of being disconnected from yourself

    (Make your experience productive and positive by reconnecting with yourself and increasing
     your relationship with yourself)

 Problems with handling intense emotions

    (Make your experience productive and positive by embracing your emotions, instead of ignoring them or disconnecting from them. It is better to learn how to experience your feelings rather than running from or numbing them out. Emotions are only painful if you believe they are.)

 Sudden and unexpected shifts in mood – for example, feeling very sad for no reason

    (Make your experience productive and positive by learning your triggers. Recognizing
     your triggers reduce your inappropriate response to them and how to neutralize their
     power and influence over you.)

 Depression or anxiety problems, or both

    (Make your experience productive and positive by breathing exercises, meditation, mindfulness, being in the moment and learning intuitive breathing to reduce depression and anxiety.)

 Feeling as though the world is distorted or not real

     (Make your experience productive and positive by checking out your environment by asking yourself these questions. What is my sense of what is happening? Then determine if your gut sense is real or unreal? Is it true or false? Is it productive or unproductive? Your answers will help you focus and achieve clarity in your thoughts.)

 Memory problems such as flashbacks, forgetting crucial personal information and significant memory lapses

     (Make your experience productive by journaling thoughts and feelings and taking notes on your memories as they come to you. Take your information and check them against your history as you know it to be)

Other cognitive (thought-related) problems such as concentration problems, like forgetting crucial personal information or wandering thoughts

   (Make your experience positive and productive by remaining mindful and connected to the moment. Find a point in the present that will assist you in focusing your attention on what you are doing, therefore, enhancing the ability to stay present.)

Feeling compelled to behave in a certain way

   (Make your experience positive and productive by reducing impulsiveness, sense of acting and being mindful. Ask if what I am doing will help?)

Identity confusion – for example, behaving in a way that anyone else would usually find offensive or abhorrent.

   (Make productive by checking your beliefs and change the one which is harmful. Rescript your identity into the identity you want to have now. Your traumatic experience changed your character, so it is your power to correct it in your favor. Your identity is your right to change.)

⦁ Feel as though negative attitude is the default

   (Make your experience positive and productive by deciding an appropriate mindset toward dissociation.)

Subtypes of Dissociation

More Information: Two Subtypes of Dissociation

There are subtypes of dissociation many mistaken as dissociation. Both of these subtypes of dissociation are byproducts of experiencing intense anxiety as a result of experiencing abuse, trauma, or combat events. These both cause self-judging of yourself and your environment. Severe anxiety, doubt, stress, second-guessing, and overthinking result from living through life-threatening experiences. 

It is essential to understand if you are in a state of self-judgment, you are not in a state of self. Therefore losing connection with yourself and your surroundings. Both subtypes can develop as a result lesser degree of experiences and without the development of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. 

1. Depersonalization

Recent research evaluating the relationship between Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and dissociation has suggested that there is a dissociative subtype of PTSD, defined primarily by symptoms of derealization (i.e., feeling as if the world is not real) and depersonalization (i.e., feeling as if you not real).

An ‘out-of-body’ or depersonalization experience during which individuals often see themselves observing their own body from above can create the perception that ‘this is not happening to me’ and is typically accompanied by an attenuation of the emotional experience.

2. Derealization

Similarly, states of derealization during which individuals experience that ‘things are not real; it is just a dream’ create the perception that ‘this is not really happening to me’ and are often associated with the experience of decreased emotional intensity or emotional numbness.

Questions to Enhance Enlightenment about Making Dissociation Positive and Productive 

The following 10 questions can help you further overcome dissociation. Recognizing your mind and body reactions can reduce the power, and of the dissociation. You can become more mindful, more intuitive, more positive, and make better decisions to be more productive. Your answers can help you to be more compassionate and create a positiveness toward yourself.

1. Ask yourself "What is your mind telling you?"

2. What is your body telling you?

3. What is your feeling telling you?

4. What is your intuition telling you?

5. What are you running from?

6. What are your top 5 fears about myself?

(Break down your list from top 5 into your top 3. Then evaluate your top 3 by answering the following questions; Are my biggest fears true or false? Is it real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

7. What are your top 5 fears about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the biggest fear? Then evaluate by answering – Is my biggest fear - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

8. What are your top 5 core beliefs about myself?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the most essential core belief? Then evaluate by answering – What is my most important core belief - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

9. What are your top 5 core beliefs about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the most essential core belief? Then evaluate by answering – Is my most important core belief - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

10. How can I take what is going on inside of me or in my environment and make it productive?


Making dissociation positive and productive can be achieved after you are no longer are in an abusive, traumatic, or combative situations or surroundings as well as willing and ready to shift your point of view and change your mindset.

           Coach Bill

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Powers of Thought: Tips for Challenging Negative Thoughts & Lies

Everyone is troubled with negative thoughts or cognitive lies about themselves or situations or abilities at some point in their lives.

When the brain goes into negative mode, it can eat away your positiveness, productiveness, creativity, and general fulfillment. 

Negative thoughts are harmless unless you believe in them. In fact, believing in negative thoughts permits negative content more influence and power over how you act, believe, feel, react and think. 

Whether aware of it or not the average person thinks anywhere from 11,000 to 70,000 thoughts or more per day. Amazingly, 85 percent of people's thoughts are negative. Repetitious negative thinking trains the brain to focus more on the negative rather than positive thoughts. It is human nature to focus on the negative thoughts to fix them or make things right and take positive thoughts for granted. To be more positive and productive negative thinking, ruminations and cognitive lies have to be turned around by taking away their power, and you accomplish this task through confronting or challenging them. 

The key elements to turning around negative thoughts, ruminations, and cognitive lies in positive and productive thoughts are as follows: 1) identifying and recognizing the negative core beliefs which are generating your thoughts. Two, challenge those negative beliefs by denouncing them. Three, replacing those negative beliefs (aka mind code errors) with positive ideas which are more accurate and correct beliefs. Shifting negative beliefs into positive ones end in a more positive inner voice also. 

If negative thought, ruminating, and cognitive lies go unchecked then the result could be a thought addiction, stronger negative thoughts and influential cognitive lies that turn into fact and truth while causing false emotions, and inappropriate behaviors or acting out.

Distorted thoughts do not start at the thought level. If cognition is attempted to be corrected at the thought level, then the mark has been missed. Thoughts are a byproduct of what is called negative core beliefs which are generated from one's mind code. Mind code is the accumulation of data accepted from life experiences and situations that turn into self-messages (aka core beliefs). If core beliefs are negative, then one’s inner voice is negative.

Personal Philosophy Restructuring is coaching method based on the understanding that your mind code influences the creation of core beliefs or self-messages which feed content to your inner voice. Your inner voice then produces and governs the formation of thoughts which determines and manifests in emotions and behaviors. 

To look at it a different way. Data gathered from life experiences and situations are accepted and stored in the subconscious mind (mind code, core beliefs, core values and core expectations). Subconscious data becomes conscious once the data passes into conscious awareness at the inner voice phase and thoughts are actually formed and generated through the inner voice statements. At this point, no one or the outside world can see or know what is occurring in your head. Thoughts influence and govern the production of behaviors, emotions, and reactions which everyone can understand. 
So, when you change your core beliefs to positive and productive which will drastically interrupt the sequence just described resulting in altering your thoughts, and subsequently, you act and react differently as well as feel differently.

Therefore, if the data you absorb (aka mind code) from your life experiences are critical, hurtful, judging, lies, negative, or painful your core beliefs will be self-critical, hurtful, self-judging, lies, negative, and full of pain and the end result will be that your behaviors tend to be inappropriate and not helpful in situations. Also, your emotions will be false based on distorted data.

What can be done?

Negative thoughts and self-lies are the results of formed negative beliefs. When you don’t have all of the knowledge of what is happening to you or why our thoughts are so distorted, skewed and negative, you have a tendency to believe them, and they become your self-truths. Then your life becomes a burden and ultimately unfulfilling. 

Empowering yourself with the first step of identifying and recognizing is essential. Here are tips to help you to empower yourself by challenging your core beliefs. To be empowered you have to face your negative thought and cognitive lies directly.

How to Challenge  Your Negative Thoughts and Cognitive Lies

Answering these questions will empower you in discovering the truth of your core beliefs which are generating negative thoughts & cognitive lies.

How do I know if my thoughts are based on accurate and truthful core beliefs?

What evidence or fact do I have to support this belief?

How can I do to test my belief to find out if it’s accurate?

Do I have a trusted friend, loved one or family member who knows me well enough that I can check out my beliefs with?

Is this belief helpful, positive or productive to my life?

Are there other ways that I can believe in myself or life situations?

Am I too critical, judging, negative or punitive toward myself?

From my history, who else or what situations contributed to me believing this way about myself?
Are my actions, feelings and thinking really under my control?

Am I over thinking my beliefs about myself or over expecting to the point of being disappointed in my performance?

What would I say to another I was emotionally attached to expressing the same beliefs about themselves in this situation?

Do I always view the best in others and the worst in myself?

Am I doubting who I believe I am or holding myself to unreasonable standards?

Are my beliefs (self-messages) I have about me - 1. true or false, 2. real or illusion, 3. productive or unproductive, or 4. healthy or unhealthy?

You can challenge your negative core belief and self-lies with the questions above by making a list of all the beliefs you have toward yourself. This can be hard, because some beliefs have become so distorted, so ingrained, and so deeply embedded in your subconscious mind that they have become your self-truths, therefore, you do not recognize them as a lie or you challenge their validity. 

Take Away

When working on discovering your negative core beliefs and listing them try to have a positive mindset, be mindful, open and consider all possibilities. Merely doing this exercise can help you to understand why you act, feel think and react toward yourself and in situations the way you do. 

The belief list can show you which of your beliefs are not true, which were based on made up judgments from others, which are illusions you have about you from others, which are not productive and the ones that are exceptionally mentally, emotionally and physically unhealthy. So you don’t have to own them anymore. Detach and discard the beliefs that don’t serve you and replace them with strong beliefs which will empower you and enhance your life.

Visit my website and click here to download free eBook for more information on this topic.

                                     Coach Bill

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Powers of Thought: Tips on Protecting Personal Energy

Living mindfully is about being connected with and living in the moment. Everything that you believe, view, touch, hear, feel, and think is made up of energy. Negative energy, as well as positive energy, can be accumulated and held onto causing dysfunction, self-destructive emotions, inappropriate behavior and a general negative overview of self. 

It is well known that it takes more energy to disavow yourself of something than allowing yourself something. The loss of personal energy creates a hole. Human beings do not tolerate empty holes. So seeking a replacement becomes (good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or addictive) the main objective. 

Knowledge comes from experiencing your energy in the moment and not getting lost in the past or projecting into the future. When you get lost in the past or focusing on predicting the future all your energy depletes due to the amount of energy it takes to be in more than one place at a time. Meaning on one hand attempting to live in the moment and focused on fixing what went wrong in the past make your energy vulnerable. On the other hand, attempting to live your life in the present and focused on predicting what might or might not happen in the future also causes your energy to evaporate.

Many times in your life you modulate in and out of periods of energy loss. Why? You do not allow or permitted to protect and enhance your own energy for one or more reasons. Why? Because you were never allowed or given permission to think of yourself first.

To protect your own energy, here are some tips for you. 

19 permissions you should adopt to be healthy and have a good supply of personal energy.
To protect my energy, you are allowed by treating yourself first 

To protect my energy, you are allowed to protect yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to change beliefs

To protect my energy, you are allowed to believe in yourself 

To protect my energy, you are allowed to be committed to yourself first

To protect my energy, you are allowed to spend a day with yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to not to fulfill others expectations

To protect my energy, you are allowed to not share yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to not seek others validation

To protect my energy, you are allowed to do nothing

To protect my energy, you are allowed to spend time alone

To protect my energy, you are allowed to sleep in 

To protect my energy, you are allowed to find your voice and express opinions

To protect my energy, you are allowed to move forward

To protect my energy, you are allowed to stop holding onto people, place, and things that don't serve you

To protect my energy, you are allowed to embrace yourself

To protect my energy, you are allowed to change

To protect my energy, you are allowed to be mindful

Take Away

If you are not mindful of what you are allowed or personally have permission to do with yourself or in life you could lose more than just your energy. The most important aspect of yourself is what you believe about yourself. Not whether someone else is better than you or how you compare to them. Diverting your energy from yourself to obsessing what others expect, think or want from you sucks up your energy you need to live mindfully.

Turn it all around. Know what you are permitted to do or not to do. Take the ones you are not allowed to do for yourself and change by giving yourself permission. 

Live a fulfilled and healthy by enjoying life at the moment. The moment is all you have and that is real.

    Visit my website and click here to download a FREE eBook

                            Coach Bill

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Powers of Thought: 4 Tips on Turning Thoughts Positive

Negative core beliefs create anxiety, critical self-talk, unrealistic thoughts, stress, and worry. All of these mentioned are a negative thinking pattern that can be contributing to your anxiety, critical self-talk, stress, worry and panic issues. Negative thinking tends to be a learned habit that can impact your emotions, thinking, and physical health. Since negative thinking typically develops over time due emotional, environmental and situational triggers it can be unlearned and replaced with more positive beliefs and views when the unknown influence of core beliefs are recognized.

Turn Your Thoughts Around

Turning your negative beliefs around involves recognizing, assessing their truth, and replaced. 

First, start by recognizing how often you pay attention to and worrying about your thoughts throughout the day. It may help to start a thought journal and record your thoughts on a piece of paper as they come up. Knowing your thoughts will open you up to realizing your belief’s power and influence they have over how you act, feel, react and think.

Secondly, look at your beliefs behind your thoughts and ask if they are realistic and truthful beliefs of who you are. Try to look at the other side of the beliefs which result in negative thoughts. For example, if you believe that others won’t accept you due to your lack of skills, ask yourself if that is a necessarily true reflection of you really are? Do people only accept those who are completely flawless? Do you really want to be friends with someone who can’t accept you for who you are? By reality checking and disputing your beliefs you diminish their power and influence. Checking validity of your beliefs and doubting their truthfulness may begin help you to take on a different and more positive perspective.

Thirdly, determine where or who these negative beliefs came from. Is what you believe about yourself is coming from your true self or was it given to you through another’s critical statement or perception? For example, are you not good enough? If your beliefs did not come from you or are not a real vision of who you then denounce them out loud to yourself. Once their falsehood is realized and denounced, take them out of your mind, eliminate them from your belief system.

Lastly, replace these negative beliefs, expectations, perceptions, thoughts, and worries with more realistic beliefs, thoughts, and positive statements about yourself. 

For instance, you may begin to think of yourself in a better or more positive light. Not everyone will accept your beliefs but your opinion is most valuable. Know that you are working on becoming a more compassionate, fulfilled, positive, and self-assured person. When you have made the shift in your beliefs that will eventually become your truths and you will realize more acceptance in yourself. In this way, you know you are based in your new core beliefs.

Take Away

Accept that your thoughts are a byproduct of your beliefs and generated from your subconscious mind. Change the content of your beliefs from negative to positive. Once your beliefs are changed and reflect a true representation of who you really are then your thoughts will automatically change to benefit you. You possess the ability to change your beliefs and have a more fulfilled life.

Turn your thoughts are by understanding how your beliefs influence your world. Learn more at my website and click here to download eBook on core beliefs

          Coach Bill

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Powers of Thought: Thought Addiction Assessment

Do you feel like you know your mind well? Are you in control of your mind? Do you think your mind works for you? If you answered is no to all 3 questions then you may be working for your mind and doing, thinking and feeling things you don’t want to. You just might be living by thoughts generated by your subconscious mind. If you keep giving your power over to your subconscious mind then your subconscious mind might lead you to another addiction.

Have you had an addiction of some sort and find it hard to stay on your sobriety path or resist relapse thoughts?

Thought Addiction

Thought addiction (TA) is a hidden addiction that affects millions of Americans every day. TA affects their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.

Many addiction professionals work on the visible addictions, not the invisible one. Thought Addiction can cause sleepless nights, addictions, anger, anxiety, fear, frustration, stress, digestive problems, health issues, troubling relationships, doubt, tight muscles, headaches and yes even death (suicidal thoughts)? 

Most people enter into an addictive pattern to numb out pain (emotional, mental, physical or spiritual), ignore or reduce perceived health issues, (like anxiety, panic or stress), to enhance a perceived personality weaknesses, quiet a constant looping negative thoughts or generally feeling out of control. Example: “If I do ______ (blank) then I will gain control.” Initially, there is an experience of relief from painful feelings, inappropriate behaviors, distorted thoughts or emotional hurts. But repetitive engagement soon becomes addictive and then toxic.

Definition of Thought Addiction

The definition of thought addiction is the development and attaching to an intrusive repetitive habitual thinking pattern to one thought or set of thoughts to change yourself to be accepted, improve your performance of a skill to be good enough or both.

Thought addiction is the act of consciously allowing, feeding, entertaining or repetitively returning to a negative, critical, harmful or destructive thought over and over again. These type of thoughts or sets of thoughts that do not serve you decreases your confidence, wipes out your self-esteem or worth and has long range damaging results to your health and life. What accentuates this type of thought(s) or set of thoughts to form is when the thought(s) come out of a hurtful situation where emotionally charged statements comes from someone or groups you want to be emotionally attachment too as well as negative thoughts of generated by yourself about not being good enough or being accepted surface. Examples would be “I can’t be social or feel comfortable without drinking”, “I will not be acceptable by this group unless I act a certain way”, or “I can’t function through the day without using drugs”.

A thought addiction depletes every system of the human body. Repetitive and unhealthy thoughts can deplete a person’s emotional, mental, physical and spiritual energy, leaving the person with a feeling of no control, emptiness inability, not good enough or weakness.

Thought addiction follows the same rules and progression of all other addictions. Think about this statement “every addiction starts with a thought” no matter what kind of addiction.

A thought addiction or unhealthy thought looping can cause you to seek and expand into other addictions. Addictions such as substance, food, exercise, emotions or behaviors.

Consider this idea. Every addiction starts with a thought. For example: “I am not good enough, so I need something to help me” “This substance (thought, emotion, or behavior) will make me perform better, be more social, fit in, mentally escape, feel better or make me not feel at all”.

Once a person becomes sober, the original thought, which caused him or her to use, surfaces again because it was not dealt with or shifted so a relapse is possible. TA can also be the aftereffect of surviving any abusive, overwhelming or traumatic life event.

Forms of thoughts you can become addicted to:

· Anxious Thoughts
· Compulsive Thoughts
· Depressive Thoughts
· Diluted Thoughts
· Fearful Thoughts
· Obsessive Thoughts
· Negative Thoughts
· Ruminating Thoughts
· Self-defacing Thoughts
· Self-defeating Thoughts
· Self-limiting Thoughts
· Self-sabotaging Thoughts
· Sexual Thoughts
· Substance Thoughts
· Suicidal Thoughts
· Unwanted Thoughts
· Worrisome Thoughts

It is important to understand the influence and power a thought can have over you. A thought can affect your mental and physical health, as well as these types of thoughts, can become so overwhelming. As you know thoughts can be disruptive, destructive, and negative. These types of thoughts can go astray becoming very negative, overwhelming and even toxic. When caught in a thought addiction it can seem as though your thoughts have a mind of their own and you feel as though you have absolutely no control over them.

Thought Addiction Assessment

Here is an assessment to help you to recognize if you are headed into or have a thought addiction. Stop and take this assessment to find out if you have an unhealthy relationship with a thought or set of thoughts. This assessment will assist in identifying and learning if you are in danger. 
Take out a piece of paper. On the left side of the sheet, write down the numbers 1 through 20. As you read each question, put “Yes” or “No” next to the corresponding question number.

1. Do you periodically or constantly think about a thought or set of thoughts that alter your mood negatively?

2. Do you have difficulty concentrating due to negative, painful or seemly inappropriate thought(s)?

3. Do you have an inability to participate or function in your daily tasks because of a failure to stop a thought(s)?

4. Does a thought or set of thoughts keep you from feeling?

5. Is your thought content over 75% negative or do not serve you toward your ability to perform?

6. Does a thought or set of thoughts feel like they block you from succeeding?

7. Does a thought or set of thoughts keep you from investing in relationships?

8. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to self-sabotage your efforts to be happy, satisfied or fulfilled?

9. Do you have a thought or set of thoughts that cause you to behave in ways you do not want to (acting out, emotionally reactive, self-harm or addictive behaviors)?

10. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to reject yourself or not like yourself?

11. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause sleepless nights or wake you at night?

12. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to overuse drugs (legal or illegal)?

13. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to under eat or restrict or overeat or binge on food?

14. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to over or under compensate perform in life situations?

15. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to hate or reject all or a single part of your body?

16. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to deprive yourself of something?

17. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to say “No” to social invitations or interact with family?

18. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to perform poorly at your job, school, social interactions or relationships?

19. Do you call off from work because you are thinking you are too “depressed” to work or just not good enough?

20. Does a thought or set of thoughts cause you to be consumed mentally during the day?

Scoring the Assessment

Once you have completed all 20 questions on the assessment, add up all the “Yes” answers.

If you have four or less “Yes” answers, you are experiencing normal thinking. Your thoughts do not interfere too much with your life.

If you have answered five to eight of the questions “Yes” then the assessment indicates a low level or episodic of habitual thought looping. You could experience troublesome periodic thought looping. To gain a deeper understanding, you may want to review each question you answered yes, one question at a time to increase your understanding and what you might want to do to change your thinking.

If you answer from nine to fourteen questions with “Yes”, then you are probably experiencing moderate thought looping and maybe affecting you on a regular basis. Maybe you should address all the issues in each question that you answered yes and look at your core beliefs behind them. If you find negative core beliefs and change them eventually will change the way you think.

If you answered fifteen or more questions with “Yes”, then you are in the high range or addictive range. You are probably going through feeling as though you have loss of control of your thoughts, experiencing distorted thoughts, obsessive, ruminating thoughts and your ability to function effectively is probably decreased. Your thinking is probably compromised. You should seek help and support to reduce their effects on your life. There is a good possibility that you could become more addicted if you do not take action. You might begin to substitute or act out your thought addiction by seeking secondary addictions with substances, drugs (legal or illegal), emotions, food, exercise, as inappropriate relationships as well as destructive or self-harming behaviors in order to subdue the constant looping.

Take Away 

This assessment can be your first step in understanding barriers in your mind that keep you from being positive and productive. Thought addiction assessment can help you identify problem area of thinking you need to address so you can work to regain control over your thoughts. 

Mind coaching is a way to change the way you think by discovering the roots of your thinking and how to successfully move toward positiveness.

         Coach Bill

For more information visit my website and click here to download a free eBook to help you understand more of why you think the way you do.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Powers of Thoughts: 6 Tips for Breaking Mind Barriers

Everyone strives to create more power in themselves and their lives. Yet there seem to be things that stop them from accomplishing what is wanted due to unidentified barriers. 

Here are barriers and tips on how to effect positive change.

1. Stop letting the expectations of others govern your life

It’s not what others expect of you, it’s what you expect of yourself that determines your path.

It’s your expectations that are what’s best for you and your life.

2. Stop focusing on what went wrong in the past

It’s not your past which determines your future course.

It’s the substance of your actions in the moment that determines your future.

3. Stop wavering on decisions about what you want

You will be stuck where you are until you decide where you want to go. 

Make a concrete positive action plan for what you want and create small steps to follow to get there. Take one step at a time until you complete all the steps in your action plan.

Take accountability for completing your action plan.

4. Stop trying to be and do everything perfectly 

Set a new mindset to allow yourself to do your best in everything you do. 

Acquire new skills to help you do your best. Practice the new skills until you are more confident and reach a level of mastery. 

Be comfortable in moving forward even though you may have doubts.

5. Stop avoiding issues due to negative beliefs 

Stop ignoring issues because you believe you can’t make them right.

Your core beliefs actually determine how you act, think and feel. 

Create new beliefs and passionately work to make them come true.

6. Stop looking at the negative things about yourself or negative situations in your life

If you focus on the past you remain in the past. 

Look at what you have not what you don’t have.

Identify what makes you fulfilled and satisfied in the moment and multiply them.

Appreciate the moment because that is all you have.

Take Away 

The power of positiveness is achieved by looking at what you have in the moment, not what you do not have or what someone else has more of. Positive thinking, success, and fulfillment arise from creating positive beliefs about yourself and putting positive actions into your life. 

Focus on yourself. Identifying and practice the good aspects of your abilities, character, and qualities which will produce an increase in your confidence and power. Follow through even though at first, you don’t think you deserve or have them. Live in the moment and be mindful.

The more you practice being who you want to be, the more you will be.
         Coach Bill
For more information go to the website and click here to download free eBook.