Stop Re-traumatizing Yourself: 4 Tips

It is common knowledge that if you have a cut on your arm and you continue to pick at the scab on the cut, then the wound will not heal. In fact, the cut will become infected. Each time you pick off the resulting scab, the injury will not improve, and there is a 100% chance your wound will get re-infected.

Well, the same is true about a wound to the Soul that occurs from all types, primary and secondary, experiences of abuse, combat, and trauma. If you feed your PTSD symptoms by attempting to deny them, ignore them, medicate them, fight them off, over-focus on them or enter into more triggering situations the PTSD symptoms actually intensify. It has been proven that an emotional wound will heal over time if they are not picked at over and over creating an infected emotional scar.

Also if a survivor continually returns to situations that trigger him or her then constant re-triggering will re-traumatized him or her over and over causing an intensification of PTSD symptoms. Or re-infection of the wound's site in the Soul. 

Case Example

I began working with a woman who reported that she was in a very on and off in a verbally abusive relationship for over 6 years which she said she needed to break away from and get stronger. She had a history of abuse from childhood and a 20-year long marriage to an alcoholic husband. Her abusive relationship caused her post-traumatic stress symptoms to surface. She was experiencing an onslaught of intense negative thoughts, black thinking, confusion, and self-defeating ideas as well as behaviors. 

During the initial session, she stated “I will do anything to get better and stop my constant pain and hurt” In the development of her coaching and action plan she promised not to contact or respond to any phone calls, texts,  emails from her boyfriend or see him in person. Within three days she emailed me, stating “would you be willing to see him as a client?” “He told me that he wants help.” Days later she wrote, “if you could tell me that he has PTSD then I am sure he could be fixed, and it is not his fault.” Two days after that she emailed me back and stated “I saw him again and he viciously verbally abused me after a sexual encounter,” and she felt worse about herself. “I can't seem to let go of him.”

This is a prime example that her post-traumatic stress symptoms had been triggered. She kept re-infecting the wounds to her soul.


4 powerful tips on ways on how not to reinfect your traumatic emotional wounds

1. Holding onto pain is self-abuse and infects old wounds 

Believe it or not, it is your past wounds that make you stronger and wiser you, so you need to celebrate it rather than ignore and re-infect it.  Don’t hold onto old wounds. Just willing wounds to heal will not do the trick. 

Replaying old emotional wounds and attempting to figure out over and over how you can heal or fix is not helpful. In fact, it is a form of re-infecting the scars and most importantly, it is self-abuse as well as re-traumatizing.  Toxic thoughts result in a toxic life.  

Make peace with yourself and your old wounds. When you heal your emotions, thoughts, feelings, and reactions, you treat your soul. So stop focusing on old injuries and predicting what might happen and things you don't want in your future. The more you deny or ignore what is happening now, the more you attract anxiety and fear into your daily experiences, and you can become your own self-abuser.

2. Moving on creates positive change

The more you may blame yourself, inject yourself situations into toxic and think, “What am I doing wrong and can’t fix this or why do I keep going back and not learning?” Unfortunately, all the standard part of those scenarios is YOU.  And this is good news because it means YOU alone have the power to change heal your situation. There is something potent and liberating about surrendering to change, taking a risk and embracing it – this is where personal growth and evolution happens.

3. Change your mindset

Navigating through life is not without challenges and disruptions, but hang onto old situations, toxic relationships or old wounds is not healthy. Turning a blind eye to the harm someone or something is causing you is not the answer. Sometimes you have to leave what you love or is not healthy for you and move forward. You should always come first in your life. No one goes through life without losing someone they love, or something they need. View life experiences as lessons and know that life lessons actually make you stronger in the long run even though it does not feel that way.
Embrace a new mindset. Be prepared and open to a positive and healthy attitude. Be ready for different challenges, and accepting of new experiences. Go out and do something different or meet someone new. You just might find someone who will treat you with respect, love and change the direction of your life forever.

4. Biggest Tip to Heal

The biggest tip is to stop picking at your wounds. 

Healing your wounds is entirely up to you. Take a risk for your health and make a clean break. It will make you more open and ready to enter into new healthy relationships and accept favorable situations. At first, you will feel very uncomfortable knowing that you are venturing into unfamiliar territory. After a time you will become more comfortable.

Afterthoughts

You have the power to stop picking at your old wound, change your habits and heal. Everything is possible if you believe it.

Coach Bill              

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