“Everyone has a self-talk critical voice in their head, but since my rape two years ago, mine has become meaner, more judgmental, critical and downright self-loathing toward myself. I feel like I don't have any control or power to stop it and don't feel like I deserve anything positive. The voice in my head has become so overwhelming that it is hard for me to even get through every day.”
The longer you feed, meaning paying attention to it, your inner voice gains more power and the greater influence over your life.
As a result I escaped more frequently into my dissociative episodes and worked at numbing out my feeling. I became emotionless. Each time I dissociated, it became harder and harder to crawl out of my numbness. I failed to see anything good in myself and ended up abandoning myself."
I blamed myself constantly for what happened to me as though it was my fault. I felt disconnected from my core self, and I always felt ashamed of myself. The more I listened to it, the more I hated myself. My emotional suffering increased as my critical inner voice gained more and more influence and power over me. It seemed to govern my thoughts. Not only did my inner voice gain power over how I viewed myself it also strongly influenced my actions, thoughts, emotions and reactions. Not only did my inner voice skew how I reacted toward myself, but it also had an enormous amount of influence over how I reacted toward others and mostly the life situations I found myself in.
Let your mind help you validate whether the content of your self-critical voice is true or false. Then note next to each critical statement who in your life said it and the situation or event where it occurred. The more you know the less power the critical content has. Find proof of why the criticism is wrong and unfounded. When you find the real truth, you will create a crack in that thought pattern and dissipate its power and influence, but that alone is not enough to achieve mental freedom.