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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

1 Tip on Emotional Control vs Command



Control is a big issue with many. We are all told at one point or another "just get control of yourself, your emotions, or the situation". Well, it is not as easy as some people make that sound. In fact, it is impossible to control anything. Think about it, if you have control and control is possible then stop your breathing until you finish reading this blog. Well, you can't. It is not possible. Control is an illusion.

So controlling your body, your emotions, life situations or another person is an illusion. It is an impossible expectation that leads to complete and sometimes devastating disappointment. Control is actually being unbalanced in yourself and your life because it is not attainable.

3 Levels of Control

Follow this line of thinking. If you live in the expectation of control is possible this is what happens. 

A situation arises and you say to yourself "I must control this" (body function, emotion or event) you enter into level one of control. You will bear down and focus control. After a while, you understand that you can't control what you want to control, you might think you are not doing good enough. That will cause you to move into level two which is over control. So you work harder with an increased effort of focus. Time passes by and you discover that you still do not have control and not only do you feel you are not good enough, you then slip into I did something wrong or extreme disappointment. At that point, you are driven to level three of control - out of control. In this third level, you might say or do something inappropriate.  

1 Tip toward Change

The amazing one tip to help you to change is to change your mindset. Attain an attitude that controlling anything is not possible. No one can control but command is possible in every situation. 

To get to a point of command you have to change your expectation from seeking control to earning command. 

It is possible to command yourself. Yes, it is possible.  To command a situation and it is possible to command another person. Command is achieved by earning respect by leading with self-confidence. Commanding is earning respect from yourself, a situation and from other people. Working hard and earning respect is how you get command over your life. Start shifting to this new mindset today which will give you a new perspective on life. 


To learn more go to another blog on the subject I posted  titled Control and Command: Shift to a New Mindset on my 2nd blog Making a Change with Dr. Bill Blog 

  - http://positivechangewithdrbill.blogspot.com/2013/07/control-and-command-shift-to-new-mindset.html

If you have not seen it, then please read it, make a comment and most importantly please subscribe to it. I am sure you will benefit from being on both.  

         Coach Bill

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Don’t forget to keep up on all my blogs and self-improvement tips. http://positivechangewithdrbill.blogspot.com/ for Life Coaching and http://www.williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/ for Post Trauma Issues.

Find out about new skills that can help you make a positive change to yourself or your life like the 30 Day Challenge at http://www.makingapositivechange.com/



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