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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why Do I Feel So Empty?: Abandoning Self


Many times I get asked yourself  “why do I feel so empty? 

No matter what I do or take never fills that emptiness.” I have talked to hundreds and hundreds of survivors who battled this feeling every day. It is unfortunate that survivors of abusive and traumatic life events experience this feeling literally. Survivors never look at the fact that survival is a symbolic process. There are two natural or innate life actions that cause this feeling of emptiness.

2 Tips

One, the empty feeling is the result of the core self's need to survive. 

Core Self is instinctively taken out of its natural position and hidden away out of love for protection. This process is called "dissociation" which is a gift from God or our Higher power to escape the reality of a painful, overwhelming life event. The resulting emptiness is the spot the core self uses to reside in and the spot for a future replacement.

The second is when the feeling of emptiness surfaces long after the overwhelming life event over and is the process of judging self harshly. 

To add clarity to this concept you have to understand the phrase “if you are in a state of judgment then you are not in a state of self.” In order for a person to judge self, they have to step out of self to view and evaluate self’s performance. If the person is out of self to view performance, then one cannot be in the “here and now” with self. Meaning that the person is not present in self and cannot experience what is happening. Therefore achieving another way to escape a painful reality. 

Take Away

Everyone knows that self-judgment is not healthy.
So in order to be a healthy authentic self, stop judging yourself. Be mindful of your intuitive need to express yourself. Remember, “The world is self-defeating enough without your help.”

         Coach Bill

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