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Friday, December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas Message from Dr. Bill


Merry Christmas 2015 to one and all!!!!


I woke up feeling so blessed today on this Christmas morn. 

I feel blessed to be alive and the ability to make positive changes in my life. This year has been a year of new beginning and growth. I turned 65 years old and feel like I did at 19. i was honored to able to return to my university after 47 years and attended the 45 year reunion of my fraternity - Sigma Chi / Eta Zeta Chapter and be with all the other founding brothers. Blessed, blessed and more blessing.

I want to express my gratitude from my heart this Christmas morning for all my Blog Followers, friends and family. Thank you for all the followings and the compassion all of you have shown by believing in my and finding my words as value.

What a fabulous year it has been. Many positive changes. I really count my blessings and all of you are included in there.

Please take a minute today to celebrate the moment and count your blessings.



                         Merry Christmas 2015 to one and all!!!!

                                           

Sunday, December 13, 2015

3 Tips on Eliminating Effects of Perfectionism






We are just mortal humans striving to be in the "perfect zone" and expecting it everyday of our lives. Wanting to achieve that legendary achievement level – perfection. 
Many attempt everyday to achieve the perfect look, the perfect relationship, the perfect home, the perfect connection, the perfect career. the perfect day and lastly the perfect partner. 

Is any of this possible??

I have to admit I too reached and wrestled with that elusive idea perfection in my mind but was never possible in practice. All the media hype I hear everyday tell me what my expectations should be and sets me up for extremely unreachable goals. All of this hype sets you and me up for disappointment. Why?  Perfection is not achievable in moment. Do not set yourself up for failure, perfection is really folklore.

If you become over concerned or obsessive about the unattainable goal of perfectionism, it can form into a habit or become a full blown addiction. 

Perfection Causes Disappointment

Unfortunately due to all the variables this concept of perfection is not either possible nor achievable. Even the smallest inability to reach an unrealistic expectation of perfection causes  you to begin a habit of "over-expecting". Over-expecting cause to get hurt cause it does not workout as you dreamed so you fall into a deep disappointment that can shatter your confidence, esteem and worth with one incident. 

What happens with attempting to achieve an unreachable concept of perfection is you enter into a state of self-judgment. You analyze your efforts, methods and particularly yourself. From that you come up with a long mental lists of everything you said, felt or did wrong, thinking and labeling yourself a failure toward perfection. This judgmental mindset and unproductive endeavor truly defeats the self-confidence and disconnects you from what is important in yourself , loved ones and your life.






3 Tips on Eliminating Perfectionism

Instead of keeping score of your failures, just do your best: 

1. Shift your Mindset 

Stop thinking about doing, feeling and saying everything perfectly. Adopt a new mindset of doing your "best" in every aspect of your life. Doing your best reduces performance anxiety, stress and worry.

2. Be Grateful

Write out a list of all you have to be grateful for? Life is much more fulfilling when you focus on the good things in your life than the things you are not good enough.

3. Have Compassion for Yourself.

Another way to reduce perfectionism tendency is to become mindful and understanding of yourself and your journey through life. Gain awareness of what you have gone through by understanding all your trials, tribulations and accomplishments. If you need to be more personally organized make a list of all the situations you have triumph in your life. 

If you want to be more spontaneous and don't like lists, think of a situation you overcame by doing you best each morning upon first rising and repeating it to yourself all through the day with a smile.

After Thoughts

Stop reaching for what you can't have. No one is perfect or can do everything perfectly. Do your best in everything you do with feeling. Truly this positive mindset is not settling. 

If you let go of false expectations of perfectionism and focus on the blessings of being alive, you will discover that you have so much more to be grateful for. Isn't that a reason for living?


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Coach Bill