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Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The Edge – A Great Coffeehouse in Middle America




People who know me well know I love my coffee. I didn’t have my first cup until I was 35 years old. Since then I have developed a pure positive coffee addiction. 

Over the years I searched for a coffee with a pure black taste. A coffee which would give a good deep flavor without an acid uptake. I get acid uptake with popular commercial brands. The popular and usual corporate coffee shops just did not satisfy me or give me a deep coffee taste. Understand I drink my coffee clean, I mean black so nothing is obscuring the taste because I like the pure taste of coffee.



I was always looking for that elusive pure coffee taste. I was very aware I like a strong aroma and strong taste. Then at the age of 42, I had my first taste of Colombian espresso and from that first taste I fell in love. 

A “red eye” coffee which is a shot of espresso in a cup of coffee, is a treat but of course too much to fix each morning in your own home. So through my constant searching over many years, I finally developed my own special blend of coffee that fit my taste. The blend I developed gave me a dark, favorable and acid free taste I had sought after for many years. 

Visiting The Edge of Coffee Heaven

Well I had another awesome experience. I recently took a trip back to my home state of Illinois where I lived for growing up. I was visiting my brother-in-law’s home in Crete who is also a coffee lover and frequent coffee drinker like me. Every time I would visit him or he would visit me, I would set him up with my special blend of coffee which he could not get in his area.

Travel Tip

While there one morning my brother-in-law asked me if I would like to go get some coffee at a unique coffeehouse in his neighborhood. Of course I said yes. So he drove me to The Edge Coffeehouse and Roasting Company. As we walked up to the coffeehouse I immediately noticed the patio and front door which was very inviting. First good mark for the coffeehouse. 

Once in the coffeehouse, I found the environment to be comfortable and in many ways very spiritual atmosphere. I felt relaxed right away. The colors and the lay out was gave me a sense of calmness. The interior was very well done and thought out as well as appealing. I started a conversation with the manager, who was very friendly. I ended up getting a tour and history of the place.


Another uniqueness about the coffeehouse is that all their coffee is roasted, ground and brewed right there. They also package their special blends and ship all over the USA.


The Edge’s coffee is flavorful and has a deep coffee taste. I found the Edge’s red eye to be extremely satisfying. I have tasted a lot around the country in my travels and the coffee at the Edge Coffeehouse is the best in that area I have found for all the right reasons I have sited. 

What a wonderful experience I had that day as a coffee lover. So if you ever find yourself near or in the town of Crete and if you are a lover of coffee like me then visit and check out the coffee there. 

Here is a link to The Edge’s Yelp Page - http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-edge-crete

       Coach Bill                                                       

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

9 Tips on Eliminating Ruminating Thoughts


From time to time all of us may be troubled by obsessive thinking that won’t go away or can’t be defused. This type of thinking is often referred to as “ruminating” in this context. Ruminating thoughts can be pervasive and troubling for many of us. We get caught up on ruminating thoughts due to our fast pace and demanding lives. Obsessive or ruminating thoughts can result from anxiety, doubts, and fears, as well as predicting thoughts of what might happen in the future, projecting negative thoughts, stress, and worry over things that haven’t happened and may never happen.

What is a ruminating thought?


Ruminating thinking is defined as focusing on your attention – sometimes compulsively - on distress, and on its possible causes, outcomes and consequences. It rarely focuses on solutions. When you ruminate, you overthink or obsess about situations or life events, such as work or relationships. This type of thinking can result in a mental thought loop which over time can manifest into a thought addiction. The more you attempt to fight them the more intense and embedded the thoughts become. This thinking process can cause you to feel helpless and increase your distress. Many thoughts on which you ruminate are false, distorted, misleading, unsupported predictions and/or unrealistic.

Research has shown that rumination is associated with a variety of negative consequences, including the increase of anxiety, negative beliefs, depressive thoughts, panic attacks, and increased symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as addictions, emotional acting out episodes and eating disorders.

Once caught in ruminating, it is very difficult to stop. You can go to great lengths to alter your thinking. Excessive ruminating can be devastating and demoralizing to your ability to function appropriately and even to your life as a whole.



9 Tips On How To Clear Ruminating Thoughts

1. Be in the moment. 
You can accomplish this by grounding yourself. Sit with your feet flat on the floor and sitting with your back straight. Once you’re grounded, focus on your breathing or heart beat which it will bring you into the moment.

2. Connect
Consciously connect with your thought stream. Recognize and write down all the thoughts that you are ruminating on and which are troubling you.

3. Tune in
Assess and tune into the thoughts you have identified. Determine whether your thoughts are good (appropriate, factual, real, truthful) or bad (false, diluted, distorted, misleading and/or unrealistic). 

4. Slow it down
Slow down your thought stream by deepening your breathing and slowing your heart rate. Pick out the one most troubling thoughts that is the most false, diluted, distorted, misleading and/or unrealistic which you want to cancel and remove. 

5. Stop your thought stream. 
Visualize the thought you have targeted and highlight it in your mind, so it is brighter than all of the other thoughts. Using your imagination, pull out the thought from its position in your conscious thought stream. 

6. Erase the negative ruminating thought. 
Then clear (remove or cancel) the negative ruminating thought by imagining you are erasing it. Once the erasing is complete, you will have an empty space in your thought stream.

7. Replace with anew
Insert a new, inspiring, motivating or positive thought into the space in your thought stream where the ruminating negative thought resided. 

8. Practice
Repeat the new thought 4 times out loud with strong feeling. Lastly, give the new thought permission to grow and start up your thought stream once completed. 

9. Repeat the Process  
Once you have completed clearing the first targeted thought, then move to the next thought you want to stop in your thought stream. At that point, repeat all the steps again steps - 4 through 9.

Afterthoughts

Why let yourself obsess by ruminating about what was and/or what might be when you really only have today, now? The more you practice these tips the more skillful you will become, and your confidence, competence, and personal power will increase.
        Coach Bill

Visit my website for more and click here for free eBook.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

3 Tips on Stopping Resentments


Prejudice and meanest is prevalent throughout our society. They are prevalent in all races and age groups. Many people are scared and distrustful toward others so they lash out verbally or physically either subtly by bullying, harassment, intimidation, and teasing or overtly by physical harm.

What if you were the brunt due to some of harassment, lashing or outburst of anger? What was the takeaway? Anger, bitterness, hurt and resentment and feelings of being wronged.

If you hold onto past wrongs or hurtful feelings either against yourself or others then you are probably are stuck in the past. Even though your remembrance is subconscious and out of your awareness. One of the most damaging feelings you hold onto that will block your growth or fulfillment is resentments. For the most part, you are not even aware of the baggage you carry because the material is not part of your conscious mind. 

Clarity

Let me ask you, have other people taken advantage of you? Have you gone through hurtful and painful situations in your life? Do you feel cheated, betrayed, humiliated or hurt in some way by another? Are you holding onto the wrongs that were done to you by another? Of course, you are. Can’t seem to let them go, no matter what you do? 

It is a normal course from time to time as you grow up to be cheated, betrayed, humiliated, hurt or wronged and wanting some type of repayment, get even or revenge. Doing, holding onto or waiting is called a resentment. 

A resentment is one of the most personally damaging feelings or thoughts you can hold onto and carry throughout your life. A resentment can actually stunt your maturity, stunt your ability to be happy, cancel success or be a barrier toward moving forward with your life. 

Definition of Resentment

A resentment is defined as ill will, ill feelings or thoughts that form when you are wronged by self, someone or something and you hold onto deep hurtful and painful feelings, store it subconsciously, real or imagined. These wrongs are formed as a reaction to a hurtful life event where you perceive to have wronged in some way by someone or betrayed by yourself. The power of a resentment is the emotional charge stays active and is held active and revenge is required before you can let it go. 

Resentments held onto can cause many intense reactive emotions such as anger, depression, doubt, disappointment, fear, panic, rage and/or regret which remain alive over time in the subconscious mind without personal awareness. Resentments have a very strong influence and direct how you relate to yourself and how you think about others. Most of all resentments manifest themselves in your behavior and emotions. These ill wills, ill feelings, and/or ill thoughts affect the way you perform daily without your knowledge. Thoughts such as: “I do not deserve anything because of what was done to me” or “I am nothing because what was done to me.” This type of thinking causes the formation of negative beliefs about yourself over time and eventually the negative beliefs become a subconscious barrier to your accepting good things, happiness and success. 

A True Story  

I would like to relate to a story of a woman I coached who was consciously blocking herself from moving forward in her life. She could not enjoy positive things in her life, was not happy and felt she was not deserving of anything good because of abuse she had experienced growing up. In order to numb out hurtful feelings that were forever surfacing she gravitated toward addicting herself to alcohol. She came to understand that she was not moving ahead with her life because she was holding onto resentments she had accumulated from episodes of abuse and being wronged by others. More enlightening was when she realized that she was also holding resentments for not being able to stop her abuser or standing up for herself with others who bullied and judged her. She perceived it as an inability to control herself or her overuse of alcohol landed her in a treatment center.

Recovery Story 

In order to help her move forward, gave her a powerfully customized writing assignment – What are the benefits of holding onto resentments? 

Here is what she wrote.

“I learned very early as a result of my coaching and my addiction recovery from alcohol I was hanging onto resentments. I also learned how much the resentments could lead me to a major setback with my PTSD symptoms and into a relapse with my alcohol. Yet it was so easy to think I had a disease or I was damaged. What I thought was correct and comfortable. Holding onto my old resentments was my desire to achieve resolution. If I had not taken a hard look into why I continued to hang onto my existing resentments, I knew I would continue to experience barriers to what I wanted out of life. I knew I had come up with a long list of reasons why I continued to hang onto those old resentments. I want the people that hurt me to experience the same level of hurt and I was not going to let go of holding on until then. 

reasons she kept holding onto old resentments

First of all, unaware you were harboring any ill will, ill feelings or ill thoughts against others for wrongs they did to me or maybe I did against myself.

The second reason, I thought if I stop holding onto those resentments against someone else they would be getting away with whatever they had done to against me too easily. I felt I had to keep their feet to the fire to make them pay for the wrongs they did to me. The problem with what I was doing was that I was the only one suffering. The truth was that the person I was holding the resentments against was not affected by my holding on at all but I still was. I became angry that they supposedly got away with something that was wrong, hurtful and damaging to me.

Reason number three, I felt powerful by holding onto my resentments. Holding resentments is the only time in my life I would feel powerful. It made me feel like I was still in control of the situation and I had all the power. This coincides with a feeling of a false sense of justice. With that false sense of justice, I felt like I was the judge. As the judge I would have the power to make a ruling and hand out a sentence then the person would never be free from what he or she did. In reality, it was me who was never going to be free.

 The third reason I held onto resentments was that I wanted the person to understand all the weight I had carried for all those years since the “wrong”. By not letting go caused me to become vindictive, bitter and angry both at myself and other people. So holding onto the weight of the hurt and negative energy of being wrong would not allow me to be free and happy with myself.

Lastly, holding onto resentments caused me to be angry, bitter, disappointed and sad. I came to know if I truly stopped holding on to these wrongs I could forgive myself and the person it would release myself emotionally and spiritually with a true sense of being free for the first time. It is not that I have forgotten what they had done but realized that I can heal myself from the inside out.”
When she processed the assignment she had an “ah-ha moment” and a total sense of release.

Tips on How to Let Go of Resentments

Here is a quick way to relieve yourself of old resentments. 

#1. First, you must allow yourself to search your mind for all the ill will of wrongs done you or you thought were done to you in your life no matter how minor. 

#2. Second, decide whether wrongs were real or imaged. Sometimes you get caught up in the emotion of the situation. When you identify the wrongs done to you the wrongs lose their power and you are able to let go of them. Then you can assess the value of why you have been holding onto the wrongs against the feeling of blaming yourself or waiting for the other person to hurt as much as you did or for the idea that you let them happen. 

#3. Third, write down the resentments that you want to release and burn the list and let the smoke rise into the air. While the smoke goes upward visualize your body becoming unburdened and free. The benefit of doing this will generate new empowerment in your core being. This resurgence of personal power will add a lot to your character and increase your confidence as well as quality and substance to your life. Positiveness happens when you invest, let go of negative and nurture you. 

Take Away


I am willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you already have a strong suspicion that you are carrying old resentments. If you said “yes” so much of what was stated above is true for you, so you need to begin to free yourself for all your old resentment baggage that depletes your emotional energy. 

So take ownership of yourself by investing in who you are at this moment. Understand you can't be affected by something that you are not holding onto. Let go, be positive and strive to make a positive change in your life.

For more information visit website and click here to receive a free eBook.
                    Coach Bill

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

9 Tips on How to Clear the Mind of Unhealthy Thoughts


From time to time all of us get troubled by unhealthy messages in our mind that don’t seem to go away or can’t be defused. This type of thinking is called ruminating. Ruminating thoughts can be very pervasive and troubling for many of us. We get caught up on ruminating thoughts due to our fast pace and demanding lives. Ruminating thoughts can result from anxiety, doubts, and fears as well as predict thoughts of what might happen in the future, negative thoughts, stress, and worry.

What is a ruminating thought?

Ruminating thinking is defined as the compulsive focusing of your attention on distress, and on its possible causes, outcomes, and consequences, as opposed to its solutions. When you ruminate, you overthink or obsess about situations or life events, such as work or relationships. This type of thinking can result in a mental thought loop which over time can manifest into a thought addiction. More you attempt to fight them the more intense and embedded the thoughts become. This thinking process can cause you to feel helpless and increase your distress. Many thoughts that you ruminate on tend to be are false, distorted, misleading, unsupported predictions and/or unrealistic.

Research has shown that rumination is associated with a variety of negative consequences, including an increase of anxiety, depressive thoughts, panic attacks, and increased symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder as well as addictions, emotional acting out episodes and eating disorders.

Once caught in ruminating it is very difficult to stop and you can go to great lengths to alter your thinking. Excessive ruminating can be very devastating and demoralizing to your ability to function appropriately and your life.

What can be done?

9 tips on how to stop ruminating thoughts

1. Be in the moment. You can accomplish this by grounding yourself. Sit with your feet flat on the floor and sitting with your back straight. Once you’re grounded, focus on your breathing or heart beat which it will bring you into the moment.

2. Consciously connect with your thought stream.

3. Recognize and write down all the thoughts that you
    are ruminating on and troubling you. 

4. Connect with, assess and tune into the thoughts you have identified. Determine whether your thoughts are good (appropriate, factual, real, truthful) or bad (false, diluted, distorted, misleading and/or unrealistic). 

5. Slow down your thought stream by deepening your breathing and heart rate. Pick out the one most troubling thought that is the most false, diluted, distorted, misleading and/or unrealistic which can be canceled and removed. 

6. Stop your thought stream. Using your imagination, pull out that thought from its position in your conscious thought stream. Visualize the thought you have targeted and highlight it, so it is brighter than all of the other thoughts. Then clear (remove or cancel) by imagining you are erasing that thought. Once the thought is erased there will be an empty space in your thought stream. 

7. Insert a new, inspiring, motivating or positive thought into the empty space in your thought stream where the ruminating thought resided in your thought stream. 

8. Repeat the new thought 4 times out loud with strong feeling.

9. Lastly, give your new thought permission to grow and start up your thought stream once completed. 

Continue to Empower Yourself

Once you have completed clearing the first targeted thought, then move to the next thought you want to stop in your thought stream. At that point repeat all the steps again steps - 4 through 9.

Afterthought

The more you practice these tips the more skillful you will become and your confidence, confidence and personal power will increase.


Visit my website for more and click here for free eBook.


    Coach Bill