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Sunday, December 13, 2015

3 Tips on Eliminating Perfectionism

We are just mortal humans striving to be in the "perfect zone" and expecting it every day of our lives. Wanting to achieve that legendary achievement level – perfection.

Many attempts every day to achieve the perfect look, the perfect relationship, the perfect home, the perfect connection, the perfect career, the perfect day and lastly the perfect partner. 

Is any of this possible??

I have to admit I too reached and wrestled with that elusive idea perfection in my mind but was never possible in practice. All the media hype I hear every day tell me what my expectations should be and sets me up for extremely unreachable goals. All of this hype sets you and me up for disappointment. Why?  Perfection is not achievable in the moment. Do not set yourself up for failure, correctly is really folklore.

If you become over concerned or obsessive about the unattainable goal of perfectionism, it can form a habit or become a full-blown addiction. 

Perfection Causes Disappointment

Unfortunately, due to all the variables, this concept of perfection is not either possible nor achievable. Even the smallest inability to reach an unrealistic expectation of perfection causes you to begin a habit of "over-expecting". Over-expecting cause to get hurt cause it does not work out as you dreamed so you fall into a deep disappointment that can shatter your confidence, esteem and worth with one incident. 

What happens with attempting to achieve an unreachable concept of perfection is you enter into a state of self-judgment. You analyze your efforts, methods and Indeed yourself. From that you come up with a long mental list of everything you said, felt or did wrong, thinking and labeling yourself a failure toward perfection. This judgmental mindset and unproductive endeavor honestly defeats the self-confidence and disconnects you from what is relevant to yourself, loved ones and your life.

3 Tips on Eliminating Perfectionism

Instead of keeping score of your failures, just do your best: 

1. Shift your Mindset 

Stop thinking about doing, feeling and saying everything perfectly. Adopt a new mindset of doing your "best" in every aspect of your life. Doing your best reduces performance anxiety, stress, and worry.

2. Be Grateful

Write out a list of all you have to be grateful for? Life is much more fulfilling when you focus on the good things in your life than the things you are not good enough.

3. Have Compassion for Yourself.

Another way to reduce perfectionism tendency is to become mindful and understanding of yourself and your journey through life. Gain awareness of what you have gone through by understanding all your trials, tribulations and accomplishments. If you need to be more personally organized make a list of all the situations you have triumphed in your life. 

If you want to be more spontaneous and don't like lists, think of a situation you overcame by doing your best each morning upon first rising and repeating it to yourself all through the day with a smile.

After Thoughts

Stop reaching for what you can't have. No one is perfect or can do everything perfectly correct. Do your best on everything you do with feeling. Truly this positive mindset is not settling. 

If you let go of false expectations of perfectionism and focus on the blessings of being alive, you will discover that you have so much more to be grateful for. Isn't that a reason for living?

             Visit my website and click here to receive free eBook. 
Coach Bill


  1. First on my list....I'm SO grateful for you and your kindness in sharing your wisdom with us Dr. Bill.
    Thank You and Happy Holidays

  2. Dear Shelli,

    I really appreciate your kind words on this blog. Due to media we all feel like we need to be and do "perfect" to make others and ourselves happy during the holidays. Not being able to achieve that perfection can cause anger, disappointment, pain and remorse. This perception or expectation needs to change so we all can just enjoy the holidays.

    Hope you have a wonderful holiday.
    Dr. Bill