Follow by Email

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Processing into Emotional Health and Self-Fulfillment




These days, self-care is a big button issue for everyone. Ask yourself, how often do you take care of others over yourself? To be strong for others you have to take care of yourself first.

If you don’t take responsibility for yourself, and no one else will, therefore nothing in yourself or life will change. If you don't take of yourself first then you can't take care of another person. Think of being on an airplane and the oxygen masks dropdown. What is the procedure? You put your mask on first before someone else. If if you do it for the other person, you run out of oxygen quickly and you both perish.

So the first thing you do to move into emotional health and embrace self-fulfillment is to take care of yourself. Self-care means paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, now. You do that by cleaning up unresolved situations long ignored. It is giving care and attention to yourself.
Personal health, confidence, and fulfillment come from processing what was not before, rather than just gaining personal insight.

Below are specific activities that help you with processing present issues, as well as past material, never dealt with.

1. Intuitive Approach. 

First, to enter into processing from an intuitiveness mindset approach, you can't be in your thoughts or feelings. Both will betray you and suck you into reliving.

Second, successful processing has to come from your second brain, which if you don't is your gut. Your gut is a place of "sensing" and is void of thinking and feeling. That is why processing can be so helpful.

Third, in order to process what you need to you have to "step back" from yourself (divorcing yourself from the drama of the memory, false emotions, and distorted thinking) nad witness what happened, what you experienced and all the drama connected. 
If you can accomplish 1 through 3, you are ready for an intuitive approach.

Intuitive processing is the practice of digesting past pain from gut instinct or sensing actually guttural observing your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations from a witness position instead of involved in being a participant. The difference from "I feel right now I am hurting" (Caught up in or reexperiencing) from "My heart is hurt due to..." (Sensing the process). "I feel like a victim," "I sense I was a victim."; “I feel not good enough,” “I was labeled as not good enough.”

Therapy is not processing. The therapeutic approach is the practice of immersing into the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations to gain self-insight but can quickly result in surfacing triggers and realistic reexperiencing activating the fight or flight mechanism. Therapy is not processing.

2. Recognize what you have not processed yet.

Be honest and authentic with yourself. Recognizing is not a platform for judgment or criticism. 

3. Don't get caught up in the residual drama of the issue you need to process.

 Now is now. Now is not yesterday, nor is it the future.

4. Don't hide or act out 

The first instinct is to hide, run from or fight the thoughts, emotions and physical sensations or onslaught of triggers. If you are in a witness stance the fight or flight mechanism will not activate. 

5. Do not stop

Keep chewing to allow the digestion (processing ) to reach the desired mission, going out of your body and mind. People who are not able to digest (process life situations) the symbolic result is that the body either holds on to the poop (constipation - can't get rid of it or get it out, causing a high level of constriction or restriction) or diarrhea (can't control or hold poop). Neither constipation or diarrhea are healthy for digestion (emotional processing or self-fulfillment).

6. Take action

Change how you label yourself. Don't engage in self-criticism, self-judgment,  self-rejection or self-victimization. Rather support love and encourage self. 

You should always be your number one priority.

Saturday, August 4, 2018

Powers of Thought: Is Your Thought Addiction Ruling Your Life

Thoughts are a Gift

Usually, thoughts are a gift. Thoughts are mighty, influential, and impressive human strength. Thoughts can be active, creative, conceptual, enjoyable, entertaining, fruitful, inventive, imaginative, and decisive. Thoughts, on the other hand, be upsetting, overwhelming, haunting and even terrorizing.

The Dark Side of Thoughts

There is also a dark side to thoughts. Excessively focusing on thoughts can also become addicting. Thoughts can also be habitual, intrusive, harmful, painful, traumatic, scary, and stressful as well as unhealthy in the case of depressing, self-sabotaging or suicidal thoughts.

Everyone is susceptible to forming an addiction to a thought or set of thoughts. Thought addiction is much more prevalent and common than many people know. The concept of thought addiction is rarely affirmed out loud. Therefore, an addiction to thought could remain in the shadows of the subconscious mind and hidden from professionals, leaving suffer in fear of their thoughts. In fear of fear. In fear of nothingness and painful silence. Terrorized and stuck in his or her head fearing their own thoughts. Fighting and scared of something that cannot be seen or control.

Most importantly a thought addiction can latch on and terrorize a mental and emotional system easily.

What is a Thought Addiction?

The definition of thought addiction is the development of a habitual pattern around a thought, set of thoughts or statement. Meaning the formation of an unhealthy attachment to beliefs, a set of thoughts or harmful comments can be miserable. It is essential to recognize and understand the difference between everyday continuous thinking and a full-blown thought addiction. 

A full blown thought addiction is where a thought(s), or harmful statements intensify through "brain rain." Brain rain manifests through anxiety, negative thinking, overthinking, obsessive thinking, thought looping, ruminating or worry. At that point, when thought addiction intensifies into brain rain, it becomes destructive, inappropriate or dangerous.

The lesson is that you believe and become what you dwell on.

An addictive involvement with a thought which becomes toxic, depletes every aspect of the person’s life, inside and out. Believe it or not, everyone gets caught up in a thought addiction at some time or another during their lifetime.

For example:

Depressive, obsessive or suicidal thoughts are considered to be harmful habitual thoughts pattern. These types of thoughts can loop continuously in your mind, and they seem like they never can be stopped. An overwhelming thought, which feels out of control and never ends, can result in personal damage or death. A thought addiction is present when a person’s thoughts become so diluted. From that point on the person is locked out of reality, and his or her perception becomes clouded with misleading and false facts. Thought addiction affects how a person functions in everyday situations with themselves, their thoughts, their emotions and others in the world.

Ignoring a thought addiction is a real threat to a person's relationship with yourself, relationships with others and connection with reality. Thought addiction many times is the forerunner of a secondary habit to an emotion, substance or behavior. What this means a thought addiction is a phenomenon which serves as a sign or warning of some future destructive attachments.


One fact which is true is that every addiction starts with a thought.

Thought Addiction Affects Your Life Directly

Let’s face it, everyone will suffer from an addicted negative, self-destructive, obsessive, suicidal thought or thought addiction from time to time during our lives. Some people become so fixated on a negative, self-destructive, obsessive or suicidal thought. These types of habitual ideas can form a repetitive pattern of thinking. This type of thought fixation can more than likely turn into an unhealthy addictive attachment which cannot be let go of, that does not serve or becomes toxic.

When fixated on these types of repetitive thoughts, a person will spend so much time focused on thinking that it impairs daily living. These thoughts will develop into a constant mental loop, repeating over and over. Once stuck in a thought loop, the person is rarely can enjoy life because he or she are always worried about something "going wrong or bad happening." The person may get so deep into a thought addiction that all other relationships in their lives are avoided or ignored.

A Thought Addiction Can Terrorize Your Mind

Don’t let your thoughts control and enslave you. You should define how you believe and ultimately how you think. You cannot control your thoughts, but you can rescript your beliefs, and that action will change your thoughts directly.

8 Tips Your Thoughts are Terrorizing Your Mind

These tips are beneficial to become more aware of what is going on in your mind as well as increasing your ability to monitor your thoughts. Sometimes thoughts are seen as independently produced, but that is not so. More accurately, thoughts are a direct byproduct of the content of the belief system, especially the core beliefs contained within. Sometimes when under stress or through those uncertain times it feels as though your mind has control over the production of your thoughts and you do not. Constant thought looping feels akin to a terrorist who is taking up space in your mind. This process of thinking can cause you to feel out of control. Also, a thought addiction can take power over your mind and eventually become toxic.

So how do you know you might be suffering from a thought addiction?

The following is eight tips to assist in understanding if your thoughts have taken over your mind. If you answer "YES" on more than five tips below, you are under high stress and anxiety which you need to address with a professional.

1. When a thought in your head consumes all your time, and you're unable to stop thinking about that thought no matter what is happening in your life

2. When you are so focused on a thought or set of thoughts that you are not experiencing what's happening at the moment

3. When you find yourself returning to a thought, you promised you would not think about ever again

4. You spend more time in an attachment to thought rather than interacting with yourself or others in your life

5. When eating and sleeping patterns are severely disrupted, due to constant fixation on a particular thought or set of thoughts

6. You experience an increase in anxiety or stress when you think of a specific thought or set of thoughts

7. You feel your thinking will cause something terrible will happen to you

8. You seem to be in a state of fear about the way you're thinking all the time. You become fearful of fear itself

There are ways to rid yourself of a thought addiction. Don't lose faith.

The Fix 

Knowing when your mind is repetitively thinking the same thoughts over and over again through self-monitoring is the first step. Once you recognize what is going on, counter the process by increasing your mindfulness of what you are thinking. Then monitor your thoughts during the day and determine if your thoughts are of your thoughts. Finally, evaluate whether your thoughts are good or bad, harm or productive, realistic or unrealistic, useful or not. If they are not helpful, then denounce each one as harmful, wrong, and silly while refusing to accept any of the harmful beliefs. Once you face these non-serving thoughts, self-empowerment can be yours.

Afterthoughts

Facing your harmful, addictive thoughts will stir up countering core beliefs housed in your subconscious mind, and these harmful will begin to surface into your consciousness. Determine if your core beliefs are good or bad. Also, are your thoughts your's or been given to you by someone else’s suggestions. If, like your thoughts, your beliefs don’t serve you, then create new ones. Then you can denounce and delete the core beliefs which are harmful, self-destructive or don't help you. 

Lastly, create new beliefs to take the place of the old beliefs. Practice new beliefs daily for 90 days, and you will have positive beliefs and new thinking. 

Change your beliefs and to change the world.

Click here to take a free self-assessment to determine if you have a thought addiction or not.
         Coach Bill

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Life Coaching is Becoming More Popular


Life coaching is gaining greater recognition as a viable helping profession. More and more people are viewing Life Coaching as an alternative method to enhance skills, productivity, and resolve present life issues. Life Coaches assist clients in acquiring the confidence to get unstuck. Coaches help clients to change careers, repair relationships, become more productive or merely get themselves and life together. Business leaders, professional athletes, artists, and entertainers have known about coaches for a long time. Successful people have used coaches for decades to help them become more proficient increase skills, and attain a positive outlook.

Now in the conditions seen in American has such unrest dealing with life situations. During times like in the present, people start looking at making important decisions in their lives, or are facing significant life transitions. That is when they reach out to life coaches – for help, advice, life skill development, support, and strategic direction.

Life Coaching Objective

The objective of life coaching is to assist anyone in formulating what his or her life intentions are moving forward in their life, to uncover deep core beliefs which might be barriers to his or her positive movement, enhance happiness, and to move forward successfully. 

Life coaching assumes that the person lacks the skill to move out of one comfort zone into another, which has become uncomfortable. 
Life coaching is a teaching experience, just like a sports coach who trains, teaches and directs athletics or a team to win games and work toward having greater confidence and being number one among their peers.

New article

 I was featured in an article that came out in theTimes of the Island Magazine on Life Coaching in Southwest Florida. It is so exciting for me to get this type of acknowledgment from the field of Life Coaching. I was so honored to be included in the article titled – Life Coaches Encourage, Assist: Two Southwest Florida Practitioners Have Far-reaching Impact written by Ann O’Phelan. 

It was such an honor being a part of this article with David Essel.  Mr. Essel taught me how to brand myself from a therapist to a Life Coach.

Many thanks to the photographer Neila Damico who deserves photo credit for my photos for the article.

Below is the link for the article in Times of the Island Magazine.

https://toti.timesoftheislands.com/dm/2018/jul-aug#page/52 

For more information on the difference between therapy and life coaching, click here to get the link.

https://williamtollefsonvalues.blogspot.com/2013/06/life-coaching-and-therapy-difference.html


         Coach Bill

Friday, June 8, 2018

Intuitive Breathing Method: Tips For Reducing Anxiety & Stress within Minutes


Breathing has been proven to help control the mind by stimulating the calming response and rewiring the brain. Practicing deep breathing can restructure the amygdala the brain’s center associated with emotions such as anxiety and fearful thoughts. So using breath work will enhance your mind and body and adding an intuitive component will significantly improve the effects even more. 

Incorporating intuitiveness into your life can be more comfortable and more fulfilling than you think.

Using your intuition or gut instinct can enhance your life but also be a breath of fresh air. 

Understanding Intuition

Intuition is a hunch, gut instinct, and the ability to listen to your internal messages without conscious reasoning or proof. 

If you listen to your gut instincts, your knowledge and mindfulness will increase. Adding intuitiveness into your life is more natural and beneficial than you believe.

16 Benefits of Incorporating Intuitive Breathing

Balances digestive system
Emotional stability improves 
Calms an overactive mind
Creativity enhances
Decreases anxiety 
Decreases response to pain
Enhances focus
Empowerment
Frees mind chatter
Happiness increases
Lowers blood pressure
Increases your intuitiveness
Increases mindfulness
Increases your oxygen level
Improves clarity of thought 
Enhances confidence 
Improves sleep
Improved instincts
Promotes inner peace 
Positive mindset
Enhances the ability to connect with the moment 
Reduces sensitivity 
Reduces stress
Mini-meditation experience


4 Steps for Intuitive Breathing

Intuitive Breathing method will assist you in reducing anxiety, decreases stress, help to achieve an increased degree of mental calmness, clarity, centers you in the moment, and improve your connectedness with your body, mind and immediate environment. 

These steps help you to reduce your anxiety, have a calmer mind, and feel more connected your body and mind follow these steps.

1. Inhale while counting to 4 in your head

2. Hold your breath for a count of 2

3. Exhale at a count of 4 in your head completely

4. Repeat at least a series of four (4) times to get the full effect.

You can use this method in any situation. You don't need a traditional meditation environment, to close your eyes, sit in a lotus position, or chant. 

You can perform this method while you are walking, standing, working, exercising, driving, at play, or during any daily routine. 

Practice Tips

There are advantages to doing intuitive breathing session more than once a day.

1. The more you consistently practice this breathing method the more intuitive it will be, and you’ll find yourself doing it automatically.

2.  The more you practice intuitive breathing in a set of four back to back, it will serve not only to calm mind and relax your body but will also develop into a mini-meditation session. 

3. Practicing intuitive breathing also helps to restructure the amygdala. The amygdala is the brain’s center associated with anxiety, fearful thoughts and stress. 

Health Benefits of Mini-Meditation

Do a mini-meditation session in 10 seconds by using intuitive breath method. Do a series of four breathing in a row. A series of 4 breathings connected will form a meditation session and enrich your body, energy, mind, and spirit just like an hour of traditional meditation would. Using intuitive breathing this way will also improve the neural connections in your brain giving your a calmer mind. Active intuitive breaths will decrease the size of your amygdala, making it less reactive as well as reducing its fear and stress sensitivity.

Most of all intuitive mini-meditation saves you time that sometimes you don't have. To do a full traditional meditation session will cost you more than 60 minutes. A mini-meditation session will enhance your mental focus, increase your energy, and decrease your anxiety as well as clarify your thoughts. It is a win-win. Balance yourself in less than 30 seconds.

Final Thoughts

The more you practice this breathing method, the more your intuitiveness will become second nature, and you'll find yourself doing the breathing automatically.

If you are open to cultivating your intuitiveness, and follow your gut instinct rather than diluted thoughts that result in false emotions, you will achieve greater confidence, self-compassion, and unlimited definite possibilities.

Visit my website for more intuitive ideas and click here to download free eBook for more information on this topic.
           Coach Bill

Friday, February 16, 2018

Powers of Thought: 5 Tips for Intuitive Living


Are you tired of living the way others think you should or caught up in a hectic lifestyle due to all the pressure associated? Do you live your life pleasing others or what "society" expects out of you? Has your life gotten so busy and complicated keeping up with everything? Weary of the stress and anxiety of constant expectations?

Won’t it be nice to have a more straightforward and calmer way of life?

Ways to Live “Intuitiveness”

Living a life of intuitiveness is a different way. The act of intuitive living is living based merely on what you are sensing from your gut instincts without conscious reasoning, evidence, distorted or negative thoughts, or false emotions. It is living simpler, running on your gut instinct. Living with your intuitiveness avails you to connect with your true self and increase your ability to experience the moment rather than being fixated on what went wrong in your past or predicting what might happen in the future. Intuitive living is merely understanding something because of your sense rather than seeking facts or proof that may be tainted by what you have been told, inaccurate stories or learning, or false experiences. Rely on your gut instinct.

The art of living intuitively is asking yourself the question “what is my sense of what is going on in myself or around me.”  

Living intuitively makes you more mindful, alert, comfortable, creative, enlightened, focused, and fulfilled. Intuitive living allows you the ability to understand and get in touch with your actual capabilities, talents, qualities and authentic characteristics. 



Adding intuitive living elements to your life is easier than you think. Here are five ways to live a more balanced, fulfilled, increased mindfulness, appreciate your environment, and calmer in mind and body. Revel in all you are and have at the moment.

No matter with the element you seek to add below, the main question to ask yourself or your way into your intuitiveness, is  "what is my sense of _____?" When you focus on your intuitive sense then you're able to avoid diluted thoughts and resulting false emotions. It is a more authentic and healthier way to work through every day. 

5 Tips to Add Intuitive Elements to Your Life

1. Connect with your environment

Increase your time outdoors enjoying the sunshine and fresh air and taking in the beauty of nature can help you become calmer, happier and more fulfilled. Outdoors will help you to be more content and connected with yourself.

2. Engross yourself in life’s simple pleasures 

Life should be involved in comforts around you. When you conduct your daily tasks like showering, drinking coffee/tea or eating. When showering, connect with the sense of the warmth of the water on your skin, and the relaxing of your muscles. After pouring your coffee or tea first thing in the morning, hold the cup in both hands and focus the feeling warmth of the cup on your hands, savor the aroma, and breathe deeply. While eating, focus and sense the colors, the texture of each bite and the taste. Concentrate on the present enjoyments will help you to be in the present. Then begin your day.

3. Journal daily

Writing is powerful. Another intuitive tool is writing to connect to the now and your inner senses. So writing about your ideas, insights, thoughts, memories, your personal stories or what you are grateful for that day in a journal. Expressing through writing can be your way of recording your history.  Your writing material allows you to take a break, focus on the moment, record it and then not to have to keep all the information in your head. You have to center on the moment to write intuitively.

Reading your journal later can empower your compassion for yourself. Journaling clears your mind because writing stores your knowledge and experiences as well as enhancing your creativity and sense of accomplishment. 

Your entries don’t have to be long or complicated. Jot down a thank you note, an experience, and a quote that inspired you or a positive event that happened.  

4. Listen to music

Music can be a comfortable and compelling driver. Music lifts your spirits and can play a significant role in intuitive living.  Make many different playlists of song you like. Songs that enhance your energy fills you with happiness or calms you down. So turn up the volume, sing out loud or dance to connect with your body.

5. Carve out time for yourself

The world has become so busy and complicated. If you are like everyone else technology has overtaken your time. You have less and less quiet time with yourself. You have immediate access to people, events and even disasters all across the globe at our fingertips. It can be a blessing, but also it can cause you to disconnect from yourself, family, friends, and immediate environment. Meaning you lose connection with the moment. The constant influx of information is eroding our personal and communication skills.

The solution to reducing stress and anxiety in these times is to set aside time every day where you unplug from all your devices including TV, smartphone, and indulge in a quiet period. Treat yourself to time with just being with yourself without distractions. It seems distractions are continually interrupting your time and you slip down on your list of priorities and tasks even with the best of intentions. 

Spend the first few minutes of your intuitive session through practicing intuitive breathing. Intuitive breathing will quiet your being as well as serve as a mini-meditation which will reduce your level of accumulated anxiety and stress and set you up for your intuitive session. Daily time spent with yourself will help you enhance your relationship with you and to bring you into a state of calmness and self-compassion.

Take Away 

Adding intuitive elements to your living experience allows you to find balance, tune in to your energy, gain a better sense of yourself and environment, comfort, calmness, and more uncomplicated existence. When you carve out time to focus inwardly on your gut, you open possibilities. Following the ways above, connecting with your gut instincts can lead to your ability to untangle hurdles, and reducing distractions as well as gaining an added degree of comfort, fulfillment, happiness, and more significant sense of health. 

Living intuitively takes practice. Understand the effort into your practice is absolutely worth the effort.
          Coach Bill

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Powers of Thought: 5 Tips for Connecting to Your Intuition


The benefits of living intuitively are pretty extensive. Intuitive living can help you to become more aware, heightens your gut sense, increases mindfulness, and tunes you into your mind, body, and gut all at once. 

The more you practice connecting with your gut instincts, the more productive and confident you will become.

 Living intuitively is based merely on becoming more mindful of what you are sensing from your gut instincts without conscious reasoning, distorted or negative thoughts or false emotions. 

The more you live each day intuitively will avail you to be more alert, comfortable, creative, and enlightened as well as fulfilled. The intuitive way of living becomes a way of life which is simpler and more affirming.

Connecting intuitively starts by getting in touch with your gut instincts and living in the moment. This connection will avail you the ability to know yourself better and understand all your capabilities, talents, qualities and authentic character which you were given innately.

Starter tips for connecting to your intuition?

A. Stay open and attuned to your gut instincts. 

The fastest way to enter into intuitive living is to do something different. Break away from the norm. Bypass your thoughts, which tend to be biased over time and corrupt your feelings. Start with finding time on a daily basis to stop what you are doing and shut yourself off from the outside world. Connect with your gut, home of your intuitive senses. 

B. Sit with yourself in calmness for 10 to 20 minutes every day. 

5 More tips for connecting with your intuition

Thinking intuitive can help you to connect more with your gut instincts. This will support a thriving intuitive living. When you experience a distorted thought, false emotion or contrary core belief causing you to be dysfunctional in your life, do the following:

1. Use mindfulness, meditation or just quietness to settle yourself. Shut off devices that cause you to be distracted, such as a computer, phone, and TV. Pick a calm and quiet place in your home to practice intuitiveness. Make the space comfortable and relaxing with warm colors, fragrances and various mixtures of textures.

2. Go past your thinking, feeling and drop your awareness to your gut (home of your intuition). 

3. While focusing on your gut, gather a sense of what is going on in yourself and your environment.

4. Once you have the sense, take that gut instinct you realized up to your heart. Now determine what your feeling is of the gut instinct you brought to your heart. Your resulting emotion is now your genuine feeling from your gut sense. 

5. Then when you have your gut sense and real feeling, move both up to your mind.  Form a thought about your gut sense and emotion. You will then have undistorted and authentic thinking.
For example, let's say a belief pops into your head like “you are not good enough.” Immediately drop into your gut and get a sense of that knowledge. The sense might be “I am good enough for me.” 

Then take the sense “I am good enough for me” to your heart and determine what your feelings are about the sense which may be “I feel good and proud of being good enough.” Once you have the sense I am good enough and that you feel good and proud of yourself take both into your mind and produce new thought. The new thought could be “I am good enough.”

Getting in touch with your gut instincts will give you more clarity on what is genuine and authentic about yourself. This process will help you avoid distorted or negative beliefs that had formed growing up and the resulting false emotions from distorted or contrary opinions. Sometimes you can get stuck in a loop of distorted or negative views you have of yourself, and fake feelings based on those distorted or contrary opinions. This looping doesn’t allow you to acquire a real sense of who you are really.

Take away

Living an intuitive lifestyle begins with connecting to your intuition and being in the moment. Accomplishing it will increase your energy, focus, and mindfulness as well as calm your mind. Being in the moment will help you gain clarity from your senses on what is going on with you now and in your immediate environment. Carve 10 to 20 minutes a day to spend time with yourself. Don’t allow daily problems to throw you off balance and cause you to get stuck in your head or outside difficulties. Increase your fulfillment by connecting with your intuition.
         Coach Bill
Visit my website for more information. Click here to download my free eBook.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Powers of Thought: Resentments Block Happiness

Carrying resentments from emotional wounds from your past?

Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you treat yourself the same as you treat others? Do you feel like you are a stranger to yourself? The worse occurrence in life is when you become conscious that you have been holding resentments against yourself. Then you realize you have disconnected from yourself because you don't like yourself due to something that happened to you by another person, or something you did wrong. 

You end up with a never-ending barrage of judgments, disappointment, and disgust in your mind along with strong emotions. At that point, you feel disconnected from yourself and refer to yourself as “someone that you use to know.” 

It is a widespread experience to become estranged or disown yourself because you have judged you as “not good enough,” “not deserving” or “not worthy.” This occurs because certain life events you had gone through caused you to put a judgment on yourself as “handling the situation wrong or could not control or stop what happened.”

Has this scenario happened to you? Many carry bitterness for wrongs and situations which occurred while growing up and do not even realize that they are still holding on to them. Hurt, bitterness, ill will toward another or feelings of being wrong which is held onto over time is termed resentment.   

Definition of Resentment

Definition of resentment is an ill will, ill feelings or thoughts of being wronged or hurt as a result of a situation which is a real hurt or imagined wrong. 
When someone is wronged, what is the appropriate response? Resentment is a typical emotional reaction to being unfairly mistreated, emotionally hurt or harmed. Every one of us has been wronged by someone at one time or another in our lives or possibly many times. 
Think about this; unrealistic or too high expectations are resentments under construction. 

A Way to Change

To make a positive change in yourself, you have to recognize the baggage you are carrying from your past experiences. The energy it takes to hold to even just one resentment takes up all your strength. Over time the deep bitterness sinks further into your subconscious mind but remains active. Waiting for resentment or old hurt to come to realization only hurts you not the offender. 

If your bitterness is direct at yourself, it only causes self-anger. 

First, let go of all resentments you carry against yourself or others. Resentments you hold from past experiences depletes all your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy. The objective of a resentment formation is the result of a hurt wish. The wish is that you want the person who hurt you is for that person to have something terrible happen to the offender or the offender hurts as bad as they hurt you.

Second, reconnect the lost relationship you have with you. Actively strive to revitalize a relationship with yourself. The benefit will generate new empowerment in your core being. This resurgence of personal power will add character, quality, and substance to your life. Success happens when you invest and nurture you. So invest in you and change yourself positively. 


6 Tips Breaking Down Resentments Barriers

Now the primary question is how to dissolve resentments 
Since a formed bitterness or resentment is a diluted and symbolic promise like “I will not move forward with my life until the offender hurts as bad as I was hurt, then how do I stop holding onto it.” 

A promising method for letting go of resentments is to use the power of visualization. Visualization is intuitive powerful in discarding them. Here is an intuitive approach to assist you in accomplishing letting go. 

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place. You can sit or lay down. Whichever is most comfortable for you. 

 2. Close your eyes, to begin. Use intuitive breathing as a way to start the approach to clear your thoughts, become mindful, calm your mind and enhance your focus. Perform a series of 4 intuitive breathes. Once completed then continue to breathe deeply without the counting in each breath.

3. Now visualizes yourself standing at the end of a path. In front of you is a bottomless pit that will grab you and suck out all your energy to stay alive. Behind you is the path.

4. See at your feet bags, luggage or boxes that contain all the resentments you have accumulated over time.

5. Visualize yourself picking up each bag, each piece of luggage, or individual box, one at a time and pitch the bags into the pit. When you have thrown all into the hole, verbalize to yourself that you are never going to hold onto or emotionally revisit any of them ever.

6. Then turn around 180 degrees in your mind and walk away down the path in a new direction.

Take away

An important as you walk away on an emotional free journey, never doubt what you have accomplished and absolutely never look back over your shoulder. Either of these acts will cause you to fall off of your new direction. 
Release yourself from old emotional wounds that do not serve you. You deserve to be free of bitterness and resentments.

Embrack on a new emotional journey free of emotional wounds.

Visit the website for more information. Click here to download free eBook.
                                 Coach Bill

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Powers of Thought: Stories Keep Us Stuck: 5 Positive Resetting Tips


The stories we tell ourselves are powerful and powerfully shape how we perceive life.

Stories which form in your mind about yourself over time plays a dominant role in every aspect of your life. The story you tell yourself determines who you are, how you and others view you, your mindset, your moods, and influences much of how you think.

You carry stories about everything. You have stories about yourself, your career, relationships, family members, and life situations. Probably, you even have stories about how everything you experienced and how everyone affects you and your life. 

Your stories are influential to how you act, belief, feel, react and think.

Positive content in your stories can make you healthy. It all depends on the value you give the content in your stories.

The harmful content of your stories which you hold over time becomes your truth can make you dysfunctional or physically sick. 

On the one hand, if your narrative is predominantly negative, then it colors all you do negatively. Likewise, if your story you tell yourself is positive, then your outlook on everything is positive. Yes, you may have a mixture of both, but it is the percentage of negative versus positive which determines which way you will act, believe, feel, react and then. Your story carries your strongest beliefs which you may not be aware of them until you write and then read your story.

Another issue you have to look at when viewing your story is the emotional charge which is attached to it. The more intense your attachment to the emotional charge in your accounts, the more influence, and power your stories have over you how you act, feel, react, and think.

Writing your story out so you can objectively evaluate your narrative from a neutral point of view as another person would see it. You have a tendency not to be aware of the direction your story influences you and what power it has over why you do, what you say, how you react to situations and thought you create.

If you are like many, you may say “I don’t truly know in depth who I am.” Look at it this way. If you don’t know who you are as a person, then it is excellent. Then you don’t have to deconstruct how you are. All you have to do is create the story in your mind of who you want to be and have the narrative to tell yourself that will motivate you toward becoming fulfilled, satisfied, productive, and confident.
5 Positive & Productive Tips to Reset your Mental Stories

If you write your story and you find out that parts or all of your narrative have too much self-defeating or harmful influence and power in your life then it is simple, create a new story. 

Writing is powerful and help you gain insight into the stories you tell yourself and others.

Here are positive and productive tips on how to discover what your story is and a way to re-author the account of your story to help you determine how you want to be. Therefore you can live a more mindful, fulfilled, and satisfied. 

#1 Write on what is your current story you tell yourself about you. (Important, include how you think about your beliefs, your confidence, your feelings, your moods, your abilities, your character, your talents, how you fit in your social life and so on)

#2 Next read through and evaluate which parts of your story are right, correct or sound, and which are harmful, untrue, dangerous, or toxic parts of your story. Also, determine which parts of your story has the most influence on you.

#3 Determine in the evaluation process which parts you focus on and feed more.

#4 Start recreating a new narrative by thinking about what part of your story do you want to keep and which parts you need to change.

#5 Lastly, re-author your story. Sit down and write a new narrative for yourself. Within this new narrative, write about who you will be as a person. What you will tell yourself about yourself. Describe your new beliefs, intentions how you will act, how you will think, behave and feel, what are your skills, abilities, what new mindset you will have (positive and productive), view of your future.

Permission is Power

Also within your new story, it is essential that you write within the body of your story that you give yourself permission to accept this new narrative in all aspects of your being. Meaning believes the story to your fullest. Make it your truth. 

Take Away

 Once your new story is completed, commit to reading it every day for the first 30 days and then put your story into practice in every aspect of your story. The more you practice it, the more skillful you will become at it. Over time, you will master your story, and it will become you. Through practice and believing in it, the story will become a part of you.
             Coach Bill
Visit my website for more information, articles and videos. Click  here to download free eBook

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Power of Thoughts: 5 Tips for Attaining Positive Thinking Through Positive Life Statements


Everyone is dissatisfied with negative thoughts. Who won't be? Everyone strives for change and creating happy, confident and productive thoughts. There are many articles about how to turn thoughts on or off, from negative to positive and sad to happy. One technique does not work for everyone, and there is no pill in the world that can accomplish this necessary task. Change of thoughts is a personal endeavor. 

Changing Stream of Thought

So, how do you change your stream of thoughts? Well, there are four keys to accomplishing a significant this task in the way you can be more beneficial in altering your old thinking patterns forever. 

Recognition, understanding, and consistency, as well as follow through, are the most critical factors of changing the mind.  If you don't recognize the content of the thoughts which are blocking your motivation, fulfillment, and satisfaction, then nothing will help. If you don't understand then confusion resigns. If you can't be consistent, then don't start if you do not follow through, game over. 

The second most crucial factor is belief. If you don't believe it is possible it will never happen.

The most significant understanding that can be gained is the mind is a powerful influencer of content and flavor of human thoughts.

5 Tips for Attaining Positive Thinking

Tip #1: 

The first step is to recognize the thoughts which you harbor in your subconscious mind that are negative, unfulfilling, and not serving you. Write down these thoughts on a piece of paper. Title your list "my negative thoughts." 

Examples of some negative thoughts which you might always be repeating to yourself in your head that might show up on your list: 

I am unhappy with my life 

I am not good enough 

I am undeserving of love 

I am unworthy of a productive life 

I am always doing things wrong 

Study your list once completed. Ponder your list and determine whether you want to continue to think these thoughts or not.

Tip # 2

Next, create a new list of self-statements you would like to take the place of your old thoughts on your above list. Make sure your original list of self-statements are positive and productive. These new self-messages would show up in your consciousness conscious stream of thoughts. Keep your list simple. Write down, no more than ten (10) self-statements you think should be worked on first. 

Note, every self-statement should start with “you deserve.” Every new self-message which turns into a thought needs to permit you to accept it. If you start your statement with “I am” the wish after it tells your brain that you already have it, your mind sees no need to work toward completion. But if you start a new self-statement with “you deserve the understanding is that you do not have it yet and your mind will focus on making it happen and become your truth.

Examples are:

You deserve to be happy

You deserve to be good enough

You deserve to be deserving of loving relationships

You deserve to be worthy of a productive life

You deserve to make reasonable and appropriate decision for yourself and your life.

Tip #3 

Then, set up a daily schedule on your calendar to repeat your new list daily. To keep you personally accountable, commit to verbalizing your list every day. Have a time set every morning, afternoon, after dinner or before bedtime for thirty (30) days. During each regularly scheduled time, read your list four (4) times in a row. Your mind is most influenced just before you close your eyes to go asleep and first thing when you wake up. Why is that? Think about it. Most people think of negative things right before they go to sleep. 

Examples of negative statements are: what went wrong today, what I will face tomorrow, what I didn’t like today and how do I fix the mistakes I made today. Then their subconscious mind mills over those issues all the while they are asleep. When upon waking, and before getting out of bed, they are already afraid of things they have to do during the day. Afraid that situations will go wrong, or bad things will happen.

On the other hand, if you feed your subconscious mind with positive thoughts, then your subconscious mind will percolate on those positive thoughts on your list the whole time you are asleep. In the morning when you wake up your subconscious mind will look to manifest those positive statements you spoke. Then your subconscious will seek to associate with positiveness in your life. 

Another time the mind is most influenced is when you wake up. Start your mind off first thing with positive and productive self-statements which will inspire what the mind will focus on all day long. 

Tip #4

Discipline through repetition is the fourth tip. Practice, practice and practice your list, some more. The more you practice your list, the quicker your self-statements will embed themselves in the subconscious mind and become your truth.

Being told something over and over again by someone your emotionally attached to or when you're repeating some thought constantly over time in your mind is how the old negative statements enter into your subconscious mind initially. Therefore through continuous practice, new self-statements will replace the older ones and be installed into your subconscious mind. 

Let’s look at an athlete who wants to win gold and become an Olympic level athlete. The way to reach his goal is by practicing his or her skills over and over again until they can perform the skills without thinking. The same is correct about changing thoughts. 

The more you repeat, repeat and repeat some more, your new self-statements, now termed Positive Life Statements, the quicker your new thoughts will stream into you conscious without you having to put in any conscious effort.

Tip #5

The last and most crucial understanding to gain is the connection is the part emotions play in this whole process. Emotional connectedness determines importance. Being emotionally attached to old negative thoughts or excited emotionally by the negative thoughts is how diluted thoughts embedded themselves in the first place and show up over and over in your thought stream. 

Why is emotional connectedness so essential? Reflect on this idea. A stranger can say whatever about you to you, and your subconscious mind rejects it because there is no emotional attachment to that person. But the smallest criticism from someone you are emotionally attached to (healthy or unhealthy) or you love can produce significant hurt that cuts to your core. Someone important to you is much more important to you than someone you are emotionally unattached with. 



The Secret

To be successful at changing your unhealthy thought patterns follow the five tips above.  Make your list (no more than ten (10) positive life affirmations at a time) repeat them at scheduled times. While you say, your self-statements attach an emotion to each as you repeat them. The stronger the connected feeling, the faster your self-statements will be accepted, and they will stay with you longer. 

Positive Life Statements are essential to changing unhealthy thought patterns. 

Take Away

You can't change what you do not know. So the secret to changing your mind is recognition. You are followed by consistency, emotional commitment and finally practice. 
          Coach Bill

Monday, July 31, 2017

Powers of Thought: Mind Code is a Powerful Change Tool


Ever wondered how your mind works? 

Each one of us has questions about how our thoughts form. What generates them? Why our thoughts just happen and seem to have a mind of their own?

To know how you think the way you do would decrease the influence your thoughts have on you and increase your personal power. 

To know how your thoughts are the start of discovering their origin - your core beliefs. Core beliefs then feed content into the formation of your thoughts and then they manifest into your actions, behaviors, and emotions as well as your intuitive nature. 

To know all of this would give you greater confidence? Learning how you can change the way you think, like from negative and self-defeating to positive and productive thoughts, would also give you more hope and strength.

Start empowering yourself today. Shift your life by changing the way your thought form and the ensuing.

Take the next step

Click on the link below and listen to a free mini-lecture on mind code. The mind code mini-lecture will explain and give you great insight into how your thoughts form and how your mind process works.

          Click Here to Listen to a Free Mind Code Mini-Lecture

          Coach Bill

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Power of Thoughts: Tips for Making Dissociation Productive & Positive


Dissociation is the most creative survival power the human mind possesses. It can help a person get through horrible situations, emotional hurt, physical pain, and life-threatening experiences.

Dissociation, when enforced if needed, allows a person to escape the reality he or she is in, not be aware of the hurt, pain or threat which is happening at the moment, and numb or ignore the overwhelming physical and emotional discomfort. It is so misunderstood. 

Helping professionals have designated this PTSD symptom as negative, a part of a disease and a character weakness. Nothing is further from the truth.

Why does everything associated with survival viewed as negative? Once out of abuse, trauma or combat situations or environments and the survival aspect is no longer needed, can't post-traumatic symptoms be looked at as productive and positive? 

Dissociation is Normal and Natural

Dissociation is a healthy and natural beneficial reaction to life-threatening situations, such as abuse, trauma, or combat situation(s). Dissociation is an after-effect of experiencing harrowing experiences. Dissociation is a protective adaptive skill that allows anyone to avoid hurt or pain mentally, emotionally, physically or living in an untenable environment as well as a situation.

The pyschological meaning of dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, and sense of identity by focusing intently on a spot or object to escape, when the "whole" of you is threatened with harm, hurt and pain on a mental, emotional, physical or spiritual level. 

Therefore, dissociation is the ability to an instinctively, and creatively focus to mentally / emotionally block out the present to escape and survive what is happening in reality. Probably, since abusive, traumatic, and combat experiences are viewed as negative, horrible and overwhelming the resulting symptoms are seen as negative, and terrible. 

Dissociation is misunderstood by many professionals causing the general public to fear it, and survivors to be confused by it.

Tips on Making Dissociation Productive and Positive

Tip #1 Dissociation does not have to be negative. 

Dissociation is an adaptive survival skill. It saves a victim's lives. It has long been conveyed to survivors as bad, negative, pathological or maladaptive when not in trauma. But the truth is dissociation can be a positive, productive and powerful adaptative skill. Dissociation is the ability to divert focus inward, adapt, and adjust quickly to survive any overwhelming and possible life threating situation.

Tip #2 Dissociation can be a Productivity Tool

Dissociation, if no longer feared, embarrassed, cultivated, and practiced, can be used as a productive focus tool. When combined with other elements like intuitive breathing method and mindfulness dissociation increases in power. All three combined increases productiveness significantly.  Dissociation can result in increased task completion, for better performance in classwork, job, and school, for sports performance improvement, and job projects and general health improvements to aid in improved daily function.

Tip #3 Make Dissociation Positive 

To make dissociation positive you have to change your mindset. Change the way you view dissociation. You have to change your mindset from viewing dissociation as a pathology symptom to seeing dissociation as productive and as an advantage.
Once you make the change then practice your mindset change a lot.

Tip #4 Positive and Productivity Tips

Here are some symptoms of dissociation combined with how you can change each to be positive and productive.

 A feeling of being disconnected from yourself

    (Make your experience productive and positive by reconnecting with yourself and increasing
     your relationship with yourself)

 Problems with handling intense emotions

    (Make your experience productive and positive by embracing your emotions, instead of ignoring them or disconnecting from them. It is better to learn how to experience your feelings rather than running from or numbing them out. Emotions are only painful if you believe they are.)

 Sudden and unexpected shifts in mood – for example, feeling very sad for no reason.

    (Make your experience productive and positive by learning your triggers. Recognizing
     your triggers reduce your inappropriate response to them and how to neutralize their
     power and influence over you.)

 Depression or anxiety problems, or both

    (Make your experience productive and positive by breathing exercises, meditation, mindfulness, being in the moment and learning intuitive breathing to reduce depression and anxiety.)

 Feeling as though the world is distorted or not real.

     (Make your experience productive and positive by checking out your environment by asking yourself these questions. What is my sense of what is happening? Then determine if your gut sense is real or unreal? Is it true or false? Is it productive or unproductive? Your answers will help you focus and achieve clarity in your thoughts.)

 Memory problems such as flashbacks, forgetting crucial personal information and significant memory lapses

     (Make your experience productive by journaling thoughts and feelings and taking notes on your memories as they come to you. Take your information and check them against your history as you know it to be)

Other cognitive (thought-related) problems such as concentration problems, like forgetting crucial personal information or wandering thoughts

   (Make your experience positive and productive by remaining mindful and connected to the moment. Find a point in the present that will assist you in focusing your attention on what you are doing, therefore, enhancing the ability to stay present.)

Feeling compelled to behave in a certain way.

   (Make your experience positive and productive by reducing impulsiveness, sense of acting and being mindful. Ask if what I am doing will help?)

Identity confusion – for example, behaving in a way that anyone else would usually find offensive or shocking.

   (Make productive by checking your beliefs and change the one which is harmful. Rescript your identity into the identity you want to have now. Your traumatic experience changed your character, so it is your power to correct it in your favor. Your personality has a right to change.)

⦁ A feeling as though a negative attitude is your default.

   (Make your experience positive and productive by deciding an appropriate mindset toward dissociation.)

Subtypes of Dissociation

More Information: Two Subtypes of Dissociation

There are subtypes of dissociation many mistaken as dissociation. Both of these subtypes of dissociation are byproducts of experiencing intense anxiety as a result of experiencing abuse, trauma, or combat events. These both cause self-judging of yourself and your environment. Severe anxiety, doubt, stress, second-guessing, and overthinking result from living through life-threatening experiences. 

It is essential to understand if you are in a state of self-judgment, you are not in a state of self. You are therefore losing connection with yourself and your surroundings. Both subtypes can develop as a result of a lesser degree of experiences and without the development of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. 

1. Depersonalization

Recent research evaluating the relationship between Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and dissociation has suggested that there is a dissociative subtype of PTSD, defined primarily by symptoms of derealization (i.e., feeling as if the world is not real) and depersonalization (i.e., feeling as if you not real).

An ‘out-of-body’ or depersonalization experience during which individuals often see themselves observing their own body from above can create the perception that ‘this is not happening to me’ and is typically accompanied by an attenuation of the emotional experience.

2. Derealization

Similarly, states of derealization during which individuals experience that ‘things are not real; it is just a dream’, creates the perception that ‘this is not happening to me’. Derealization decreases a person's emotional intensity to life or helps create a state of emotional numbness.

Questions to Enhance Enlightenment about Making Dissociation Positive and Productive 

The following ten questions can help you further overcome dissociation. Recognizing your mind and body reactions can reduce the power, and of the dissociation. You can become more mindful, more intuitive, more positive, and make better decisions to be more productive. Your answers can help you to be more compassionate and create a positiveness toward yourself.

1. Ask yourself "What is your mind telling you?"

2. What is your body telling you?

3. What is your feeling telling you?

4. What is your intuition telling you?

5. What are you running from?

6. What are your top 5 fears about myself?

(Break down your list from top 5 into your top 3. Then evaluate your top 3 by answering the following questions; Are my biggest fears true or false? Is it real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

7. What are your top 5 fears about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then which is the biggest fear? Then evaluate by answering – Is my biggest fear - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

8. What are your top 5 core beliefs about myself?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then pick which is the number one core belief about yourself? Then evaluate this #1 core belief by answering the following – Is it - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

9. What are your top 5 core beliefs about life?

(Break down the top 5 into top 3. Then pick which is the number one core belief about life? Then evaluate by answering – Is my most important core belief - true or false? Is it - real or delusional? What can I do right now to change it?)

10. How can I take what is going on inside of me or in my environment and make it positive and productive?

Takeaway

Making dissociation positive and productive can be achieved after you are no longer are in an abusive, traumatic, or combative situations or surroundings as well as willing and ready to shift your point of view and change your mindset.

           Coach Bill