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Saturday, February 2, 2013

2 Tips on Acceptance in Addictions and Trauma Recovery

Acceptance is one of the biggest issues in addiction as well as trauma recovery. Once you are over the initial "honeymoon" in becoming sober or out of a traumatic situation, it is so easy to slip back into old patterns, thoughts and behaviors. To think "well it was not that bad" or it was more helpful than harmful" is more common than not.

If you cannot accept that your toxic relationship with your addiction or perpetrator is killing you and your life, then you are in real trouble. Recognizing that you are in denial and unwilling to make a positive change to your life is vital. 

So let's look at the definition. The definition of "accept" from a dictionary states:

1. to receive willingly; 

2. to approve or give admittance;

3. to come to terms with something: to acknowledge a fact or truth and come to terms with it; a situation; 

4. to tolerate something without protesting or attempting to change it.

2 Tips on Acceptance

Change your Mindset

#1 Change your mindset from one of resistance to acceptance. Acceptance is the opposite of resistance and/or denial. It is the ability to give in fully, not create a barrier and acquire new skills to create a new way of life.

Acceptance is not the act of forgiveness. A person can forgive and not accept, or accept and not forgive. To do one, a person does not have to do the other. Accepting in many ways the belief that something is the fact and cannot be changed, like certain situations, events or people.

I believe that acceptance is a willful act of opening to your truth, willingness to re-shape your life and identity. Start by making an action plan with steps and then follow through. Keep your commitment to your plan.

Have Compassion for Yourself

#2 The second tip is to feel compassion for yourself. Compassion is the ability to have understanding. Understanding yourself is key to achieving a fulfilled life. 

Remember, whatever got you to here, got you here.

After Thoughts

The hardest step in recovering from post addiction or post abuse / trauma is self-truth. You addiction or perpetrator has diluted and skewed your view, beliefs and thoughts about yourself. To actually return to believing in you, you have to take back your personal authority, develop compassion and feel your strength therefore regaining your own self-power. 

Acceptance can be seen as closing a door without resistance on old unhealthy, desires, memories, situations, events, or people that cannot be changed.  The next step is to open a new door and walk through it to a new self and future.


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1 comment:

  1. Problems with acceptance can be a "silent" issue which can make it hard to realize that we actually have a problem with it. This is an area that I have been struggling with and didn't realize my actual issue was caused by a problem I had with "acceptance". My past traumas caused "acceptance" issues that I did not realize were what was actually causing the difficulties I am dealing with in my life right now. What you said about..."acceptance is a willful act of opening to a truth, re-shape one's life and identity, then move forward." makes sense. Realizing the truth, identify it and then accepting it...not expecting "it" to change, just accept it as it is or was and re-shape "my" life and move forward, not allowing it to control my present life...not waiting for the "trauma" to change,because it's not, it is the past...accept it as what it is and make the choice to move on past it and live in the present not keep holding on to the past. This sounds much better than what I have been doing...I hope I am able to do this...and see positive change in my present life.