Believe it or not "being connected" is our life blood.We invest increasing amounts effort in forming and maintaining connections with ourselves, someone else or groups. Our connections, who and what we think we belong to, increasingly define our identity, happiness, fulfillment and status.
Once emptiness emerges, a we feel a strong powerful eruption of a need to seek a replacement for the connection lost. No matter what, no matter how long it takes or what the consequences are we seek it. Even if it is toxic to us. Due to deep feeling of loss, we will attach to a replacement because it gives us a "new sense of connection", good, bad or indifferent.
The substitute connection to something or someone takes away our thoughts of feeling empty and disconnected. There are others replacements sought such as inappropriate behaviors, false emotions, objects or negative and self-defeating thoughts.
This disconnection anxiety becomes increasingly prevalent with addition of more and more personal losses. Also there are issues that arise such as:
If you are unable to follow the 6 tips above here are 2 rather simple tips. The first tip is to avoiding the possibility of seeking an unhealthy behavior, emotion, object, relationship, substance or thought to fill a feeling of emptiness is by forming a solid connection to yourself first.
Second is to just reach out. Form a significant connection with someone else, a family member, a group or to someone in your community. If you do it will reduce the possibility of filling that hole with someone or something unhealthy that could turn out to be very toxic in the long run.
Ultimately, you have the power and control to determine what connections are good and healthy for you, and which are just not. You have the ability to produce a community of supportive connections that will add joy, , connectedness, happiness and content in the long-term. Being connected to yourself and others is what fills you with value, fulfillment and health.