William Tollefson Values Blog provides information on many topics and issues pertaining to survivors of childhood and/or adulthood abuse, trauma, or combat situations.
Written by Dr. Bill Tollefson, Ph.D. Certified Master Life, Post Trauma and Holistic Addiction Recovery Coach.
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Friday, February 20, 2015
6 Tips on Turning Your Inner Voice Around
6 Tips on Changing Your Inner Voice
Seems that you are fighting one battle after another with your own mind. Your main focus is to win each battle and conquer your mind, and get it to quiet down. Whether you know it or not the enemy is your inner voice. It is like all you do is constantly fight with yourself. Unfortunately it seems like you are losing.
If your inner
voice is negative, it can crush your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth,
self-loyalty and most of all your self-love. It can also beat you up with self-blame,
self-shame and self-judgment for things you did not even do as well as
disconnect you from your core self.The more you listened and feed negative comments in your head, the more
you dislike, distrust and hate yourself.
Your inner voice can cause a
great deal emotional suffering. The more battles it wins the more influence and
power it gains over your thoughts. At that point it takes over the direction of
your emotions and behaviors, and reactions causing you to serve as it dictates. Don't be a slave to your inner voice.
I want to share with you a few specific suggestions on how
you can quiet your inner critic. If you are diligent with these suggestions,
you can replace your inner critic’s content, which will result in changing your
inner thoughts to be positive and supportive.
1. Know your enemy and its Intentions
Recognize, observer and listen to messages being said in
your head. Listen to your inner voice with a different perspective as if you
are hearing it on the radio. Write each statement down. Recognize that each
statement is a false story, misrepresentation and an outright lie said to you by
someone who is against you. Understand it wants to take over your mind and
control your life.
Know that your inner voice does not have or express
emotions. The content of its words originated from negative beliefs, judgments
and attitudes you have formed in your subconscious about yourself since
childhood and repeats them back to you. It mean manner is automatic.
2. Create a Strategy
Analyze every critical statement and decide if the content
is true. Determine if you truly deserve the negativity, doubt, judgment, self-defeating
thoughts or criticism it throws at you.
Write down every statement that is thrown at you. Then note
next to each critical statement note which life situation or event it come from.
A good strategy is the more you know about where your enemy came from the more
power you have in changing the critical content. Find proof of why the
criticism is wrong and unfounded. When you find the real truth, you will create
a crack in that thought pattern and dissipate its power and influence, but that
alone is not enough to achieve mental freedom. Develop a powerful strategy by
listing your options to change content.
3. Built an Armament
Create a whole new list of optional positive statements to
counter the old ones being volleyed at you. Let your power to create your own statements be your weapons.
Make a separate list of new positive statement to counteract
each negative statement. Once you have
created this new list, tear up the old one and throw it away. Arming yourself
can be as simple as structuring new counter statements like…“I deserve to be
something” “I am good enough or “I deserve to look at myself in the mirror and
Research has shown writing down negative statements, doubts,
thoughts, and judgments then tearing them up and burning or throwing the list
in the garbage increases your feeling of power, self-worth and self-value.
4. Embedded Discipline
and Positiveness through Practice
Once you have created your new list, say your list to
yourself ten times a day for 90
The trick to defeating your enemy is through forming
discipline. Discipline is accomplished by practicing your new list verbally
over and over again until it fortifies your mind. Once you’re your mental
filters are fortified, it is time to manifest them in your emotions, thoughts, and
5. Be Consistent and Strong
Accept and feel a deep obligation your new statements of
self. Consistently follow through every day for 90 days. Change your mind set
that you have won and you are in charge of how you think about yourself, how
you believe about yourself, what you are capable of, and how you will perform.
Track yourself by keeping a journal of your progress. That
way you will be able to see your commitment and thought change day by day for all
90 days. Write down how you change daily. Journaling will help you recognize the
battles you win and add motivation.
5. Make your Fortress Healthy and Strong
Surround yourself with people who see and experience you in
a positive light, who support you and know you as you really are. Let people
who love you reflect the real you back to you the positiveness you are
manifesting toward them. Practice the balance of receiving and giving positive
content about each other.
6. Give Respect where Respect is Earned
Understand that your inner voice has been attempting to take
over your mind your whole life. It wants you to think doubtful, negative and self-critical. Don't give
into the invading negative comments in your head. Work hard at change, fight each small scrimmage. In the
process earn your own respect by taking charge of forming your own thoughts.
You have that power. Once you earn your own respect, the rest is pretty much is
practice, practice and more practice.
Take Away If you follow these suggestions, you can win the war for you
thoughts and be the ruler of your life.
If you need more help to remove negative thinking from
destroying your ability to get what you want out of life then visit my website home page and click here to download my gift of my eBook to you. Coach Bill