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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

5 “must have” Tips for Healing from Abuse, Addiction and Trauma

Have you always wanted to recover from the aftereffects which occur from abuse, addiction, trauma or combat events but were too afraid or to powerless to do so? 

Actually you are powerful and all you need is new skills and perspective or mindset.

Look inside and ask yourself are you now able, ready and willing? Have you truly set the groundwork for recovery in order for you to become successful?


Well to be honest, recovering from Addictions and Post traumatic Stress (PTSD) symptoms is like gardening. I know that sounds counter intuitive and silly as it might sound. But true. 


If you have ever been a gardener you will understand that before you can plant, before you can have a healthy crop, before you can have an abundant harvest you have to prepare the ground for the garden. The soil needs to be prepared, nurtured and ready before you ever think of planting. The same is true about recovery whether it is from abuse, trauma or addiction.

Change your thinking about recovery by shifting your mindset. Think of your preparing efforts like you are preparing the soil. So if you are mind does not have the right attitude then you are bound to fail with many relapses. Your mind has to be prepared to get the effects you want.

The result of your recovery is based on your mindset going in. If you are not doing it for you it won't work. You will not be invested. So if you are mind does not have the right attitude then you are bound to fail with many relapses. Your mind has to be accepting, willing, ready and committed in order to accomplish recovery.

If your mindset about yourself or your pending recovery is negative then the results will be negative. If your mindset about you or your pending recovery is limiting, loathing or defeating then in some way or another you will sabotage yourself or recovery. 

   5 "must haves" Tips to Heal Abuse, Addiction and Trauma:

To recover from trauma or abuse certainly is very hard but possible. There are 5 “must haves” that you have to attain in order to become healthy, make a positive change and be successful in your journey of recovery. 

    1. Forgive yourself:

In this sense to forgive is to stop feeling angry, bitter, disappointed, rejecting, or resentful toward yourself for an offense, flaw, inability to complete a task (keep yourself safe, or stop an event) or mistake you have made in the past. Finding fault will only dig you a deeper hole and make it harder to get out. Stop holding on to old material, emotions or wrongs and begin a fresh start. With a clean record you can recover and move forward without dragging the past with you.

         2. Love yourself:

If you do not love or even like yourself then think about it, you will do nothing to help yourself. Addictions, self-loathing or self-sabotaging enter your life when self-love evaporates. 

         3. Accept who you are:

Accept is to consent to receive. That means you should be willing to receive the benefits of becoming healthy for you and all the nice thing for you that will result from recovering. 

4.  Give yourself permission to be happy and successful:

It is very difficult to do to accept anything for yourself in the whole process of recovery if you don't have permission to accept. How can you be happy and successful if you are not allowed? You have been programmed against yourself or you promised yourself to that you will never accept anything, including self so nothing can be stolen from you again.

        5.  Surrender to the 4 elements above:

The hardest part of this process to set a healthy mindset for recovery is surrendering. Understand it is not surrendering in the AA or NA way. It is stop resistance to the possibility. Stop looking for excuses to not deserve recovery. 

       Coach Bill

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  1. How would you answer this question that I hear many times from others:

    "That all sounds nice and good, but HOW?"

    1. Lori,

      How? It starts with believing and loving yourself enough to accomplish these 5 must haves. These 5 will help you to build a solid foundation. I know that you can do all 5 if you are willing and ready.
      Invest in yourself. You are worth it.

      Dr Bill

    2. I would say these 5 are somewhat advanced... for me, the HOW of starting was simply to create a mental/emotional space within myself, into which I gave my earnest permission for the old traumas to emerge. I promised that I would be there for any lost parts of me... loving myself or not had to be beside the point, as if we wait for that then maybe things don't get started.

    3. Jack Rowe,

      Thank you for your comments. The 5 must haves are for you to set your foundation for your inner strength for your recovery. Memories may not emerge because your parts have their own memory banks.

      Parts work is another subject that I should blog on.

      Thanks again for interest..

  2. Boy these 5 are not easy. I've been working on them for many a years now, since I first was in the WIIT program in 1995. Some days/months (notice years are not included anymore!) I feel I have made it but then fall back a few steps. The good thing is I don't fall back as far or for as long. Thank you Dr. Bill for all the help you gave me! I am growing as the artist I always wanted to be. KiKi }i{

    1. KiKi

      Thanks you for the comment. I know the 5 are not easy but are attainable. The 5 are necessary fora successful recovery. If you achieve these 5 you will not have the fall backs and you will be more creative as an artist. I beleive you can do it.
      Dr Bill