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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why Do I Feel So Empty?: Abandoning Self

Many times I get asked yourself  “why do I feel so empty? 

No matter what I do or take never fills that emptiness.” I have talked to hundreds and hundreds of survivors who battled this feeling everyday. It is unfortunate that survivors of abusive and traumatic life events experience this feeling literally. Survivors never look at the fact that survival is a symbolic process. There are two natural or innate life actions that cause this feeling of emptiness.

One, the empty feeling is the result of the core self's need to survive. 

Core Self is instinctively taken out of its natural position and hidden away out of love for protection. This process is called "dissociation" which is a gift from God or our Higher power to escape the reality of a painful, overwhelming life event. The resulting emptiness is the spot that the core self use to reside in and the spot for future replacement.

The second is when the feeling of emptiness surfaces long after the overwhelming life eventthrough the process of judging self. 

To add clarity to this concept you have to understand the phrase “if you are in a state of judgment then you are not in a state of self.” In order for a person to judge self, they have to step out of self to view and evaluate self’s performance. If the person is out of self to view performance, then one cannot be in the “here and now” with self. Meaning that the person is not present in self and cannot experience what is happening. Therefore achieving another way to escape a painful reality. 

Take Away

Everyone knows that self judgment is not healthy.
So in order to be a healthy authentic self, stop judging self. Be mindful about you intuitve need from yourself. Remember, “The world is self defeating enough without your help.”

         Coach Bill

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